This was the last line I read this morning in My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers...
There is only one relationship that matters, and that is your personal relationship to a personal Redeemer and Lord. Let everything else go, but maintain that at all costs, and God will fulfil His purpose through your life. One individual life may be of priceless value to God's purposes, and yours may be that life.
When I am not maintaining my relationship with the Lord by spending time with Him, nothing else is in sync...the rythm of my life is off...because He is my life. If I am not allowing Him to fill me day after day, what do I have to pour into any other relationship that has any True worth and value? I can not count on any other relationship to provide what only He can. I should not look to others to satisfy me the way only God is suppose to. I should not give my highest affections to anyone except the One I was created to worship for all of my days. If I believe that He is the One who gives me my very next breath...and holds my very life together by His power, then why would I not make my relationship with Him my very, highest priority?
Even though spending time with Him may cost me sleep, time with my kids, comfort or even popularity...I must choose to maintain this precious relationship between me and my Lord. I must choose, at times, to let everything else go and just sit in His Presence! Nothing compares, NOTHING!
By His grace, I have made spending time with Him a habitual practice over my years of being a Christian. My life is a living testimony that He fulfills His purposes through our lives when we make Him our highest Treasure. As we spend time with Him, He reveals to us the desires of His heart...and they become our own desires. He reveals to us His plans and purposes and then allows us to walk in them. The great and mighty One accomplishes His will through our weak and broken lives simply because we lay ourselves before Him day after day.
One day, we will cast aside all other relationships as we live for all of eternity in the only One that really matters!!!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Watch and Wait
I have been feeling discontent and disconnected from God recently. I can't go on very long like this because I become miserable. I have become so addicted to Him, so dependant on Him to sustain me emotionally that even when I try to find satisfaction outside of Him I just end up running right back.
The last few words in My Utmost for His Highest this morning was this: Wherever there is a spiritual drain in your life, correct it immediately. Realize that something has been coming in between you and God, and change or remove it at once.
With that thought resonating with me...I read through a few chapters of Proverbs and landed here: Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. Proverbs 8:34
I had to ask myself, am I DAILY watching at his doors and waiting at His doorway for Him to satisfy the longings of my soul, or am I watching at the doors of the world and waiting at the doorway of our culture for my satisfaction?
I humbled myself and chose to worship Him. I literally got on my knees and turned up the volume on my ipod and sang out to Him as loud as I needed to drown out my own pestering thoughts! His Presence became life to me, I found freedom and joy down there on my knees. Now, it doesn't always happen this way, but today I it did and I am rejoicing.
He is all we need! If we believe this is true then our greatest desire should be more of Him! To have more of Him we need less of us. To have less of us we must allow Him to strip us of our little gods and tear down the alters left up by our forefathers. We must choose to go against the grain of our culture and press into Him. We must DAILY listen to His Voice, not the voice of the world. We must DAILY watch at His doors! Not the doors of our culture. He has fullness of joy and freedom waiting at His doorway for us!
This morning I realized the things that are a spiritual drain in my life, and by the power of the Holy Spirit was able to correct it immediately. I realized the thoughts that were coming between me and God and I removed them at once by getting on my knees and focusing my thoughts on the greatness of God in worship. (Your spiritual drain and distractions are likely different from mine, but I am certain if you are reading this you have the same common struggle.)
It doesn't always happen this way. I am not always obedient. I do not always do what I know to do to be closer to God. But today I did, by His power at work within me...so I am rejoicing! I am also sharing with you so you might seek Him out to and experience the sweetness only His Presence can bring!
Just as He calls us to listen for His Voice, watch and wait for Him, I believe He also waits and watches DAILY for us to wake up and lift our voices to Him before we do to anyone else.
As I was typing this, our 5 year old came into our bedroom. Right after I prayed for him and tucked him into bed last night, I told him I would miss him while he was sleeping. I also told him as soon as he woke up I wanted him to come straight to my room so we could snuggle. He did just that. He came stumbling in, half asleep, crawled into bed with me and snuggled. I told him that I missed him so much while he was sleeping. I told him that he is so precious to me. I couldn't help but think that if I feel this way about my son as an evil parent in comparison to God, how much more does God feel this way about me....and you as our Perfect parent!
The last few words in My Utmost for His Highest this morning was this: Wherever there is a spiritual drain in your life, correct it immediately. Realize that something has been coming in between you and God, and change or remove it at once.
With that thought resonating with me...I read through a few chapters of Proverbs and landed here: Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. Proverbs 8:34
I had to ask myself, am I DAILY watching at his doors and waiting at His doorway for Him to satisfy the longings of my soul, or am I watching at the doors of the world and waiting at the doorway of our culture for my satisfaction?
I humbled myself and chose to worship Him. I literally got on my knees and turned up the volume on my ipod and sang out to Him as loud as I needed to drown out my own pestering thoughts! His Presence became life to me, I found freedom and joy down there on my knees. Now, it doesn't always happen this way, but today I it did and I am rejoicing.
He is all we need! If we believe this is true then our greatest desire should be more of Him! To have more of Him we need less of us. To have less of us we must allow Him to strip us of our little gods and tear down the alters left up by our forefathers. We must choose to go against the grain of our culture and press into Him. We must DAILY listen to His Voice, not the voice of the world. We must DAILY watch at His doors! Not the doors of our culture. He has fullness of joy and freedom waiting at His doorway for us!
This morning I realized the things that are a spiritual drain in my life, and by the power of the Holy Spirit was able to correct it immediately. I realized the thoughts that were coming between me and God and I removed them at once by getting on my knees and focusing my thoughts on the greatness of God in worship. (Your spiritual drain and distractions are likely different from mine, but I am certain if you are reading this you have the same common struggle.)
It doesn't always happen this way. I am not always obedient. I do not always do what I know to do to be closer to God. But today I did, by His power at work within me...so I am rejoicing! I am also sharing with you so you might seek Him out to and experience the sweetness only His Presence can bring!
Just as He calls us to listen for His Voice, watch and wait for Him, I believe He also waits and watches DAILY for us to wake up and lift our voices to Him before we do to anyone else.
As I was typing this, our 5 year old came into our bedroom. Right after I prayed for him and tucked him into bed last night, I told him I would miss him while he was sleeping. I also told him as soon as he woke up I wanted him to come straight to my room so we could snuggle. He did just that. He came stumbling in, half asleep, crawled into bed with me and snuggled. I told him that I missed him so much while he was sleeping. I told him that he is so precious to me. I couldn't help but think that if I feel this way about my son as an evil parent in comparison to God, how much more does God feel this way about me....and you as our Perfect parent!
Monday, November 22, 2010
CHRIST IS ALL!
My morning so far has been spent taking care of children. My neice and nephew are visiting for the day :)
My morning has also been spent worshipping Him...
I am determined to worship Him in everything. Oh I fail SO much!! But this is my chief goal...in all things to give Him praise. Wether well fed or hungry, in sickness or in health, in chaos or in quiet. I want to worship Him. Cleaning dishes, folding laundry, reading a book to our boys, talking to a hurting friend, driving in my car, laying in my bed, returning emails, raising money for my African children, grocery shopping, cooking dinner, ironing Jerome's shirts, disciplining fighting kids...you get the picture :)
The more I choose to worship Him in the mundane tasks of life as well as the things that bring me great joy, the less content I am with this world and it's system...the more I long to be united fully with Christ! I want my whole life to have a flovor of worship and true devotion to the One worthy of all my praise!
I daily face the struggle between my flesh and spirit. Somedays my flesh wins, but oh the days that it doesn't and I give Christ complete reign!!! There is life and freedom found only in Him. Christ is ALL!
Sometimes I feel like Job before the Lord allowed Satan to strip him of everything. I feel so blessed. I am able to stay home with our boys and listen to worship music all day. I am able to pour into the lives of people all over the world. I am able to mother many children that I did not carry in my womb. I am able to be a part of a biblical community and wide circle of believers that stretches across continents. I have people who faithfully pray for me and encourage me. I get to see people's lives transformed by the power of Christ all the time. I have a husband that literally, daily, lays down his life for me and loves God more than anyone I have ever known. But what I often tell the Lord is that I want to know that I would still praise Him if He were to strip all of that from me...if He were to give me poverty, sickness and take away my family and friends. Would I still worship Him? Would I still give Him the glory due to His Name? I want to position my life and heart in such a way that when my circumstances fail, I know that Christ has not changed and therefore I can stand firm! So today, I am praising Him while everything is 'running smoothly' so that tomorrow, when everything likely won't be, I have a firm foundation to stand on.
My heart is longing for every follower of Christ to press into Him with me. If your day, month or year is good or bad, praise Him! Through laughter or tears, praise Him! Let your soul find complete satisfaction in Christ alone. He is worthy! He is SO worthy!
I am burdened, yet hopeful for MANY people I personally know who are hurting right now. I am honored to be intimately acquainted with these precious ones so that I can pray and help carry their burden in this way. My prayer for each of them today is that they would lift their hands, hearts and lives in worship to Him right where they are at....right in the middle of the chaos. Because one day soon, oh that glorious day, we will no longer be seperated, even for a second from the One we love most...not by our circumstances, our trials, our sin, or our flesh. We will be one with our sweet Saviour! That alone is reason enough to confess His goodness no matter what we feel at this moment.
So, today in my joy, with worship music playing in the back ground and the breeze blowing through open windows and the sweet sound of children's voices who I love so much playing in the back yard...I choose to praise Him!
Tomorrow, if my day starts with whiny children who interrupt my Treasure Time and I have a head ache and my boys refuse to obey me and Jerome comes home in a grumpy mood I want to choose to praise Him. If the next day, Jerome and the boys never come home because they die in a car wreck, oh Lord, let me still praise you! If the next day I find out I have a terminal ilness, let my very last breath, as I slip from this earth into Your eternal Presence, be in praise to you! Please make us this kind of Church so the world will look on and desire You!!!
Tomorrow the earth itself falls into the sea, let us praise Him because the reality is not this earth that we live on for a few short years, the Reality is that CHRIST IS ALL!
My morning has also been spent worshipping Him...
I am determined to worship Him in everything. Oh I fail SO much!! But this is my chief goal...in all things to give Him praise. Wether well fed or hungry, in sickness or in health, in chaos or in quiet. I want to worship Him. Cleaning dishes, folding laundry, reading a book to our boys, talking to a hurting friend, driving in my car, laying in my bed, returning emails, raising money for my African children, grocery shopping, cooking dinner, ironing Jerome's shirts, disciplining fighting kids...you get the picture :)
The more I choose to worship Him in the mundane tasks of life as well as the things that bring me great joy, the less content I am with this world and it's system...the more I long to be united fully with Christ! I want my whole life to have a flovor of worship and true devotion to the One worthy of all my praise!
I daily face the struggle between my flesh and spirit. Somedays my flesh wins, but oh the days that it doesn't and I give Christ complete reign!!! There is life and freedom found only in Him. Christ is ALL!
Sometimes I feel like Job before the Lord allowed Satan to strip him of everything. I feel so blessed. I am able to stay home with our boys and listen to worship music all day. I am able to pour into the lives of people all over the world. I am able to mother many children that I did not carry in my womb. I am able to be a part of a biblical community and wide circle of believers that stretches across continents. I have people who faithfully pray for me and encourage me. I get to see people's lives transformed by the power of Christ all the time. I have a husband that literally, daily, lays down his life for me and loves God more than anyone I have ever known. But what I often tell the Lord is that I want to know that I would still praise Him if He were to strip all of that from me...if He were to give me poverty, sickness and take away my family and friends. Would I still worship Him? Would I still give Him the glory due to His Name? I want to position my life and heart in such a way that when my circumstances fail, I know that Christ has not changed and therefore I can stand firm! So today, I am praising Him while everything is 'running smoothly' so that tomorrow, when everything likely won't be, I have a firm foundation to stand on.
My heart is longing for every follower of Christ to press into Him with me. If your day, month or year is good or bad, praise Him! Through laughter or tears, praise Him! Let your soul find complete satisfaction in Christ alone. He is worthy! He is SO worthy!
I am burdened, yet hopeful for MANY people I personally know who are hurting right now. I am honored to be intimately acquainted with these precious ones so that I can pray and help carry their burden in this way. My prayer for each of them today is that they would lift their hands, hearts and lives in worship to Him right where they are at....right in the middle of the chaos. Because one day soon, oh that glorious day, we will no longer be seperated, even for a second from the One we love most...not by our circumstances, our trials, our sin, or our flesh. We will be one with our sweet Saviour! That alone is reason enough to confess His goodness no matter what we feel at this moment.
So, today in my joy, with worship music playing in the back ground and the breeze blowing through open windows and the sweet sound of children's voices who I love so much playing in the back yard...I choose to praise Him!
Tomorrow, if my day starts with whiny children who interrupt my Treasure Time and I have a head ache and my boys refuse to obey me and Jerome comes home in a grumpy mood I want to choose to praise Him. If the next day, Jerome and the boys never come home because they die in a car wreck, oh Lord, let me still praise you! If the next day I find out I have a terminal ilness, let my very last breath, as I slip from this earth into Your eternal Presence, be in praise to you! Please make us this kind of Church so the world will look on and desire You!!!
Tomorrow the earth itself falls into the sea, let us praise Him because the reality is not this earth that we live on for a few short years, the Reality is that CHRIST IS ALL!
Monday, October 25, 2010
The Good News!
I have so many more things to write about Africa...but God has me in a place where I am sharing the gospel right here in America...in fact in my very own home.
This has not caught me off guard. In fact the Lord has been convicting my heart in how important it is to share the good news of His free gift of salvation to all men. This is our highest calling...(next to simply spending time with Him). Yet, it is the area I focus the least on in my christian life.
The whole reason He died is so that we might accept this free invitation to have fellowship with Him for all of eternity. Our life is a mist and a vapor, we are here on this earth for but a moment and then for all eternity we are somewhere. We are either in the Presence of God, never again to be separated from His love, or in hell never again having a chance to be with the One we were created by and for.
As the years are passing by faster and faster I am not wanting to waste even a day. I want my whole life to count for Him. I do not want to miss an opportunity to share Him with others.
OK, so I say that....
I come home from Africa and God puts a 16 year old girl, who I have already witnessed to on our door step. I know that she doesn't know Christ, and doesn't want to from a previous conversation I had with her. I was so happy when she decided to stay. I was certain in a matter of days she would give her life to Him. HA! God tricked me!!!
I have begged Him to draw her, convict her, save her! I have asked the most godly people I know to pray. I have even fasted :) It has been like 3.2 weeks and no salvation. UGH!
So now I am weary...weary of 'sharing the gospel.' Weary of dragging someone to church that doesn't want to go. Weary of peeking over during the salvation prayer and her hand not being raised. Weary of sitting on her bed telling her how much Jesus loves her and how much she needs Him only to have her look at me with a blank stare.
I have not one single ounce of power to convict or draw or save her. I am completely dependant on Him.
I am also facing the fact that in the scriptures I see many who were called by God to preach the good news to those who would not only reject the message but persecute the messengers in the process. I know that our responsibility as a Christ follower is to present the gospel and leave the rest up to God. So much easier said than done.
Me and the boys are reading about persecuted Christians all over the world. Today we read about Christians in Iran and Pakistan. Iran's population is only 0.33 percent Christians. Why didn't I know that? Why didn't I care before? We read about a 6 year old boy witnessing to his teacher and an 86 year old man who refused to deny Christ and was tortured for it in this past year.
And here I sit in a country where I don't have to secretly read my bible, gather with other believers or share the gospel with those around me because I might go to jail or be tortured for it or even put to death and yet many times I don't do any of these things near as much as I should. I am living in a country that calls itself a christian nation, yet very few want to hear that they need to give their whole life to Him if they want to be saved. They have the truth readily available to them and yet refuse to accept it.
I don't want to just stay in my Christian bubble, or go downtown and feed the homeless and check my good deed off the list for the week either. I don't want to go half way across the world to feed orphans, yet overlook my neighbor accross the street that I am certain doesn't know Christ.
And many people, like me, don't want to share the gospel with others in America because they convince themselves that everyone has already heard it and if not, they surely said a prayer when they were 5 and must be OK with God.
So instead of whining that the teen aged girl asleep in the other room would rather turn to drugs instead of Jesus. I should, in fact, be rejoicing at the opportunity God has given me by bringing her to my door step...to share His good news with someone so precious to Him. (Even if she leaves tomorrow and I see no result from the investment in her life!)
It is not my responsibility to make her accept His love. It is my responsibility to offer it.
If she continues to reject His message and even me for presenting it, then again, I should rejoice that He is allowing me to share in His sufferings.
I am asking Him to give me His heart for the lost. I was once that 16 year old girl...He pursued me as He is pursuing her. He allowed my sin to take me to a place where I was miserable and saw my need for Him. And then when I finally surrendered to His love, I am certain he threw a party for me...just as He did you if you are His.
So all of this should spur me on to preach the gospel in all the earth, even right here in America in my own home. I should not stop there, but I should REJOICE that I have been called as an ambassador for my Lord and Savior to hold out His message of Hope to he world!
In His Name alone we are saved and made whole...in His Name ALONE!
(If you are reading this...I BEG you to pray for this sweet girl's salvation)
This has not caught me off guard. In fact the Lord has been convicting my heart in how important it is to share the good news of His free gift of salvation to all men. This is our highest calling...(next to simply spending time with Him). Yet, it is the area I focus the least on in my christian life.
The whole reason He died is so that we might accept this free invitation to have fellowship with Him for all of eternity. Our life is a mist and a vapor, we are here on this earth for but a moment and then for all eternity we are somewhere. We are either in the Presence of God, never again to be separated from His love, or in hell never again having a chance to be with the One we were created by and for.
As the years are passing by faster and faster I am not wanting to waste even a day. I want my whole life to count for Him. I do not want to miss an opportunity to share Him with others.
OK, so I say that....
I come home from Africa and God puts a 16 year old girl, who I have already witnessed to on our door step. I know that she doesn't know Christ, and doesn't want to from a previous conversation I had with her. I was so happy when she decided to stay. I was certain in a matter of days she would give her life to Him. HA! God tricked me!!!
I have begged Him to draw her, convict her, save her! I have asked the most godly people I know to pray. I have even fasted :) It has been like 3.2 weeks and no salvation. UGH!
So now I am weary...weary of 'sharing the gospel.' Weary of dragging someone to church that doesn't want to go. Weary of peeking over during the salvation prayer and her hand not being raised. Weary of sitting on her bed telling her how much Jesus loves her and how much she needs Him only to have her look at me with a blank stare.
I have not one single ounce of power to convict or draw or save her. I am completely dependant on Him.
I am also facing the fact that in the scriptures I see many who were called by God to preach the good news to those who would not only reject the message but persecute the messengers in the process. I know that our responsibility as a Christ follower is to present the gospel and leave the rest up to God. So much easier said than done.
Me and the boys are reading about persecuted Christians all over the world. Today we read about Christians in Iran and Pakistan. Iran's population is only 0.33 percent Christians. Why didn't I know that? Why didn't I care before? We read about a 6 year old boy witnessing to his teacher and an 86 year old man who refused to deny Christ and was tortured for it in this past year.
And here I sit in a country where I don't have to secretly read my bible, gather with other believers or share the gospel with those around me because I might go to jail or be tortured for it or even put to death and yet many times I don't do any of these things near as much as I should. I am living in a country that calls itself a christian nation, yet very few want to hear that they need to give their whole life to Him if they want to be saved. They have the truth readily available to them and yet refuse to accept it.
I don't want to just stay in my Christian bubble, or go downtown and feed the homeless and check my good deed off the list for the week either. I don't want to go half way across the world to feed orphans, yet overlook my neighbor accross the street that I am certain doesn't know Christ.
And many people, like me, don't want to share the gospel with others in America because they convince themselves that everyone has already heard it and if not, they surely said a prayer when they were 5 and must be OK with God.
So instead of whining that the teen aged girl asleep in the other room would rather turn to drugs instead of Jesus. I should, in fact, be rejoicing at the opportunity God has given me by bringing her to my door step...to share His good news with someone so precious to Him. (Even if she leaves tomorrow and I see no result from the investment in her life!)
It is not my responsibility to make her accept His love. It is my responsibility to offer it.
If she continues to reject His message and even me for presenting it, then again, I should rejoice that He is allowing me to share in His sufferings.
I am asking Him to give me His heart for the lost. I was once that 16 year old girl...He pursued me as He is pursuing her. He allowed my sin to take me to a place where I was miserable and saw my need for Him. And then when I finally surrendered to His love, I am certain he threw a party for me...just as He did you if you are His.
So all of this should spur me on to preach the gospel in all the earth, even right here in America in my own home. I should not stop there, but I should REJOICE that I have been called as an ambassador for my Lord and Savior to hold out His message of Hope to he world!
In His Name alone we are saved and made whole...in His Name ALONE!
(If you are reading this...I BEG you to pray for this sweet girl's salvation)
Saturday, October 23, 2010
The Greatness of Our God / My Wickedness Revealed
This was written by my husband while I was in Africa this last time...
I started to call our on my God. My mind drifted so much. Several times I started to get up. I really was angry with myself for being so distracted. "God is here and I cannot even focus on Him." Then the song, "Your Presence" and I started begging God for His Presence. Then, "Forever Reign" and I asked Him to reign in my wicked ehart. Then, "The Greatness of our God" came on and I asked to see His greatness for I knew this is always the answer!
Forget my weakness and see His Strength!!
Give me eyes to see More of who You are. May what I behold, still my anxious heart.
Take what I have known And break it all apart. For You my God, are greater still.
No sky contains. No doubt restrains. All You are. The greatness of our God.
I spend my life to know. And I'm far from close to all You are. The greatness of our God.
Give me grace to see beyond this moment here. To believe that there is nothing left to fear.
That You alone are high above it all. For You my God, are greater still.
And there is nothing that can ever separate us. There is nothing that can ever separate us from Your love.
No life, no death, of this I am convinced. You my God, are greater still.
My heart was lit on fire! There it is!! The GREATNESS OF OUR GOD! That I cannot be separated from HIM! Here I sit 18 years after giving my life to Him and I still struggle with running to empty things and sometimes do! Here I sit letting my mind drift to empty things BUT HE STILL DOES NOT LEAVE ME! What a miracle! It was amazing , beyond my understanding, the He saved me in the first place.
But how much more amazing is it that he does not leave me after 18 years of sin. There has not been a day that I have not fell short! Sure most of the outward sin is gone. Sure he has purified me for those 18 years but I still fall short every day. This is the greatest of all miracles! It is so funny to me that some act as if miracles are not real. They have a hard time believing in the Virgin birth, the parting of the Red Sea. HAHA! Are you kidding me those are child's play, of course if there is a God those things are easy.
Hearing that God ALMIGHTY parted the Red sea is like hearing that I was able to breathe! It is such a simple power that I do not even have to think to perform it. Instead the critic should say, "You expect me to believe that God stays with You!" Some are amazed that God parted the Red Sea I am amazed that He took the rebellious Israelites through it! Some are amazed that He raised Lazarus from the dead I am amazed when he says about those mourning that, "He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled." (John 11) Some are amazed that He healed the woman with the issue of blood. (Luke 8:43) but I am amazed that he told her, "Go in peace."
I am amazed that I have spit in the face of the Almighty! That I have cried "Crucify Him!"...that I have at times traded my time with Him for a bowl of soup!
And yet He HAS FILLED ME WITH PEACE TONIGHT! WITH NO ONE ELSE TO FILL ME I AM FILLED WITH HIM!
"What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?" (Psalm 8:4) If I heard that you consumed the stars for breakfast and planets for a snack it would not amaze me. The heavens themselves are a small wonder compared to YOUR DAILY FORGIVENESS FROM THOSE WHO CALL ON YOUR NAME! AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN YOU FORGIVE US! We have murdered Your Son! But through Him we now are your sons and will be his servants!! HAHA! I cannot stop laughing at how ironic is. We get to be your children! If I was a critic that is what i would attack. That God would listen to me tonight and give me peace! WOW! AWESOME!! GLORY!!! BEYOND OUR IMAGINATIONS!! LIFE GIVING! EMPOWERING! What a great miracle is there other than me laying down in Peace with His Blessing and Presence.
Behold the Greatness of Our God!!
Behold the Greatness of our God! That I can lay my head on the pillow tonight and be at peace with HIM
I started to call our on my God. My mind drifted so much. Several times I started to get up. I really was angry with myself for being so distracted. "God is here and I cannot even focus on Him." Then the song, "Your Presence" and I started begging God for His Presence. Then, "Forever Reign" and I asked Him to reign in my wicked ehart. Then, "The Greatness of our God" came on and I asked to see His greatness for I knew this is always the answer!
Forget my weakness and see His Strength!!
Give me eyes to see More of who You are. May what I behold, still my anxious heart.
Take what I have known And break it all apart. For You my God, are greater still.
No sky contains. No doubt restrains. All You are. The greatness of our God.
I spend my life to know. And I'm far from close to all You are. The greatness of our God.
Give me grace to see beyond this moment here. To believe that there is nothing left to fear.
That You alone are high above it all. For You my God, are greater still.
And there is nothing that can ever separate us. There is nothing that can ever separate us from Your love.
No life, no death, of this I am convinced. You my God, are greater still.
My heart was lit on fire! There it is!! The GREATNESS OF OUR GOD! That I cannot be separated from HIM! Here I sit 18 years after giving my life to Him and I still struggle with running to empty things and sometimes do! Here I sit letting my mind drift to empty things BUT HE STILL DOES NOT LEAVE ME! What a miracle! It was amazing , beyond my understanding, the He saved me in the first place.
But how much more amazing is it that he does not leave me after 18 years of sin. There has not been a day that I have not fell short! Sure most of the outward sin is gone. Sure he has purified me for those 18 years but I still fall short every day. This is the greatest of all miracles! It is so funny to me that some act as if miracles are not real. They have a hard time believing in the Virgin birth, the parting of the Red Sea. HAHA! Are you kidding me those are child's play, of course if there is a God those things are easy.
Hearing that God ALMIGHTY parted the Red sea is like hearing that I was able to breathe! It is such a simple power that I do not even have to think to perform it. Instead the critic should say, "You expect me to believe that God stays with You!" Some are amazed that God parted the Red Sea I am amazed that He took the rebellious Israelites through it! Some are amazed that He raised Lazarus from the dead I am amazed when he says about those mourning that, "He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled." (John 11) Some are amazed that He healed the woman with the issue of blood. (Luke 8:43) but I am amazed that he told her, "Go in peace."
I am amazed that I have spit in the face of the Almighty! That I have cried "Crucify Him!"...that I have at times traded my time with Him for a bowl of soup!
And yet He HAS FILLED ME WITH PEACE TONIGHT! WITH NO ONE ELSE TO FILL ME I AM FILLED WITH HIM!
"What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?" (Psalm 8:4) If I heard that you consumed the stars for breakfast and planets for a snack it would not amaze me. The heavens themselves are a small wonder compared to YOUR DAILY FORGIVENESS FROM THOSE WHO CALL ON YOUR NAME! AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN YOU FORGIVE US! We have murdered Your Son! But through Him we now are your sons and will be his servants!! HAHA! I cannot stop laughing at how ironic is. We get to be your children! If I was a critic that is what i would attack. That God would listen to me tonight and give me peace! WOW! AWESOME!! GLORY!!! BEYOND OUR IMAGINATIONS!! LIFE GIVING! EMPOWERING! What a great miracle is there other than me laying down in Peace with His Blessing and Presence.
Behold the Greatness of Our God!!
Behold the Greatness of our God! That I can lay my head on the pillow tonight and be at peace with HIM
Thursday, October 7, 2010
An Adventurous Weekend In Africa
Hello My Sweet Friends and Family!
I am back from my home away from home :) Shana Rutz and I, or Shanna squared as we are now called, had the most amazing trip! I know I say this every time, but this really was my favorite visit to Sierra Leone. My heart is more connected with our African family than ever before. I have a treasure of memories stored in my heart and have been pondering them day after day.
I had the honor of spending a lot of time with Pastor Hassan and Pastor Abraham. They are precious men of God who I can say with great confidence are working for food that does not spoil. Their chief focus is to see the good news of the gospel preached through words and actions throughout the poorest, most desolate and overlooked places in their nation. Whatever church they plant, school they start, need they meet is all a way to present the gospel to the people of their country. I truly believe their desire is to see men, women and children come close to the One who has the power to save, heal and make whole.
We went away for the weekend with them and two of my African sons. It was an adventure filled with laughter, tears, eating meals together, singing worship songs and deep discussions about the God we all love so much. It was a gift to me that I will always treasure. It was an experience that deepened our bond as one family in Christ.
Our first stop was in a town called Makeni were Pastor Bo and his wife, Teresa lead a church. We helped interview teachers for a school in a village out in the country called Matumbo. This was very interesting. The applicants were asked to come work even though they may not be paid for up to 3 months. They were asked to prove they would be faithful to their wives and also to teach the children about Christ. The applicants all agreed to these conditions. Very different from an American interview :) Shana and I wandered around the village and talked and laughed and prayed with the people. AAAWWW it was just so perfect! I wish you all could have been with me.
Next, we headed to Matumbo. A woman named Katherine Sanders collected over 1,000 pair of shoes and had them shipped on a container. We had the joy of delivering these shoes. We took 800 pair to the students at a school in Matumbo. This is a remote village that children walk for miles to attend. The shoes were necessary for them to attend classes. God did something special for me. He connected me with a teacher who is a single mom of a 3 year old little girl. (He has given me a special heart for single moms). I loved ministering to her so much! She is so precious. Shana was able to find her a pair of shoes too. I hope to see her again!
Then we drove a few hours in the rain and mud through the bush to a REALLY remote village called Mansumana. After crossing a river on a very, scary ferry we could go no further because of the mud. We took another route to try to find lodging for the night and met a little boy on the side of the road. Pastor Hassan immediately insisted we stop so we could give the little boy a pair of shoes. This was my favorite part! We all got out in the rain and mud while one of my African sons, Solomon helped the little boy find a pair of shoes that fit.
This is our God, He would drive hours in the rain and mud, through impassable roads, just to give us a pair of shoes so we might know His love and care for us!
I didn't mind the rain, I didn't mind the VERY bumpy roads, I didn't mind the long, full day of ministry in the heat and chaos....no I didn't mind at all because there was a deep peace and joy on the inside of me knowing that I was doing His will, doing what He would do if He were on the earth, and I was doing this along side those I love deeply! In fact, though my day started while it was still dark and went late into the night, I didn't want it to end. I wanted to take in all that He wanted to show me.
The next day Pastor Hassan spent the first several hours studying and preparing for the message he was preaching later that afternoon. Me, Shana and the boys walked around the town we were staying in. Bakarr had gone to high school in this town so we stopped at one of his friends' houses. A man came up to us and gave us a track and witnessed to us while we were there. I loved this! Absolutely loved it! The deep desire for the gospel to go forth was evident every where I turned. This has spurred me on to boldly share Christ more with those in my own country!
We headed back to Makeni for an afternoon Thanksgiving service at a church there. This small congregation that meets in a make-shift tin building with a dirt floor was celebrating one year of their gatherings. Pastor Hassan was the guest speaker. Several of our kids from the home came to help with the service. It was a precious time! Shana and I were able to hold babies and talk with the women after the service before heading out again.
Next we visited a facility that housed blind chidren. It was not a home. It was an old slughter house for animals. The living conditions were terrible. It broke my heart. The children were joyful. A little girl happily sang a song for us and we were able to give her a pair of shoes. The few staff members were able to express their trust in God to provide despite the bleak living conditions. I left here with a very heavy heart.
We still had shoes left so we drove for a few hours and stopped at another village to deliver the rest of them. It was late at night and raining but the pastor and his wife met us on the road with smiling faces. We filled blankets full of shoes and piled them on the porch of one of the homes.
Just as I loved all the ministry packed into our two day trip, I loved the hours of time in the car having conversations about eternal things that last. At one point I asked Pastor Hassan, "How do you choose what projects to take on?" His response was, "If something breaks my heart, I pray and ask God to provide. Sister, you have to have faith. What is impossible with man is possible with God." He then told me, "I am something like a dreamer. I start things and then pass them on to others to run while I oversee. Even now I want to focus on just preaching the gospel." This man is not Jesus, he is not perfect, but his life has been devoted to doing the will of God in his impoverished country where many have been left with great needs and no hope as the result of a brutal war. I have seen with my own eyes and now know with my heart, is not easy, it is messy, it has brought trials, heart ache, persecution, sleepless nights, great temptation, slanderous accusations, betrayel of close friends, health problems, stress, exhaustion, seperation from those he loves and much, much more. His ministry is not glamorous. Who wants to drive hours to remote villages to deliver shoes so children can go to school, so children can know the provision of God? Who wants to preach to small congregregations in stuffy tin buildings with dirt floors. Who wants to make sure blind children are not overlooked? Who wants to be responsible for 100 orphans being fed, clothed and educated so they might be the Nehemiahs of their nation? Who wants to do all of this and so much more so that many would put their hope and trust in the One, True living God? Now, I can say I do because I have watched the lives and doctrine closely of those who are living their lives to do these things and more. Just as I want to honor my pastors here in America for following the call of God to lead and shepherd and meet the spiritual and physical needs of our own nation, I also want to honor Pastor Hassan. I believe we give honor where honor is due. I believe our Heroes should be those who make us want to be more like Christ. Hassan is one of those men for me now more than ever.
We are the body of Christ. We were created to be interdependant on one another. Where one is weak, another can help. God uses the lowly, despised things of the world to shame those who are wise in their own eyes.
I have so much more to share with you, so I hope you will keep reading in the days to come as I try to share with you the message I feel God has given me to bring back to my sweet American family.
I am not exalting men, I am exalting God.
I saw God shining brightly through the imperfection of human men. This is what amazes me. We are so weak. Our hearts are wicked and decieve us. Yet, the God of the universe chooses to use us, the weak, the lowly, the sinful, to prove Himself strong and powerful...to show His love to the poor and needy, to the strong and powerful, to glorify His son through our broken lives. So, while we know perfection is not attainable this side of eternity, yet we still strive for this. But what IS attainable is to be fully devoted to Him and His causes. When we seek Him with our whole heart, He pours out grace over all of our many imperfections, His love covers the multitude of sin living in our hearts day to day and He shines bright enough to be glorified through our fragile lives! He is the Treasure living inside of us. His is the power at work within us. So we bow down to Him, submit to Him and trust Him to be God through us. In doing this He is exalted in all the earth.
I was continually faced with my own weakness and inability to meet the most minor needs. But over and over and OVER He reminded me, HE IS ABLE. I did not go to Africa just to feed orphans. I went to Africa to glorify Him and allow Him to do whatever He chose through me for the two short weeks I was there. As my husband reminded me one night on the phone as I cried over my inability to meet all of the needs I was faced with...He did not call us because we were qualified. No, the ones who think they are qualified are the least likely to be used. It is the broken and contrite heart that He wants. It is the life that says, "I am nothing without You," that He desires to use. It is the person who lays down his life, his plans, his everything so that Christ can have complete reign. He is strong enough in our weakness. THERE IS NO OTHER GOD LIKE HIM!
I have returned to America realizing I have nothing to offer that He doesn't provide from His own hand...and whatever He provides is the right amount to give. He alone knows what is needed, I only need to keep my eyes focus on the eternal One, the eternal things that last and trust Him to live through me. Food is temporary, shoes are temporary, education is temporary, but relationships are eternal. My relationship with my sweet Savior and the people He has called me to do life with are more of my focus now. Everything we do should bring us closer to Him and the people He came to save.
So much more to come. I can't wait to write about our time with the precious children of the Wellington Orphanage.
Remember, OUR GOD IS ABLE, even when we are not!
(My camera is on its way from the London airport where I left it on the plane...thank God for Fed Ex! Pictures to come soon, Lord, willing).
I am back from my home away from home :) Shana Rutz and I, or Shanna squared as we are now called, had the most amazing trip! I know I say this every time, but this really was my favorite visit to Sierra Leone. My heart is more connected with our African family than ever before. I have a treasure of memories stored in my heart and have been pondering them day after day.
I had the honor of spending a lot of time with Pastor Hassan and Pastor Abraham. They are precious men of God who I can say with great confidence are working for food that does not spoil. Their chief focus is to see the good news of the gospel preached through words and actions throughout the poorest, most desolate and overlooked places in their nation. Whatever church they plant, school they start, need they meet is all a way to present the gospel to the people of their country. I truly believe their desire is to see men, women and children come close to the One who has the power to save, heal and make whole.
We went away for the weekend with them and two of my African sons. It was an adventure filled with laughter, tears, eating meals together, singing worship songs and deep discussions about the God we all love so much. It was a gift to me that I will always treasure. It was an experience that deepened our bond as one family in Christ.
Our first stop was in a town called Makeni were Pastor Bo and his wife, Teresa lead a church. We helped interview teachers for a school in a village out in the country called Matumbo. This was very interesting. The applicants were asked to come work even though they may not be paid for up to 3 months. They were asked to prove they would be faithful to their wives and also to teach the children about Christ. The applicants all agreed to these conditions. Very different from an American interview :) Shana and I wandered around the village and talked and laughed and prayed with the people. AAAWWW it was just so perfect! I wish you all could have been with me.
Next, we headed to Matumbo. A woman named Katherine Sanders collected over 1,000 pair of shoes and had them shipped on a container. We had the joy of delivering these shoes. We took 800 pair to the students at a school in Matumbo. This is a remote village that children walk for miles to attend. The shoes were necessary for them to attend classes. God did something special for me. He connected me with a teacher who is a single mom of a 3 year old little girl. (He has given me a special heart for single moms). I loved ministering to her so much! She is so precious. Shana was able to find her a pair of shoes too. I hope to see her again!
Then we drove a few hours in the rain and mud through the bush to a REALLY remote village called Mansumana. After crossing a river on a very, scary ferry we could go no further because of the mud. We took another route to try to find lodging for the night and met a little boy on the side of the road. Pastor Hassan immediately insisted we stop so we could give the little boy a pair of shoes. This was my favorite part! We all got out in the rain and mud while one of my African sons, Solomon helped the little boy find a pair of shoes that fit.
This is our God, He would drive hours in the rain and mud, through impassable roads, just to give us a pair of shoes so we might know His love and care for us!
I didn't mind the rain, I didn't mind the VERY bumpy roads, I didn't mind the long, full day of ministry in the heat and chaos....no I didn't mind at all because there was a deep peace and joy on the inside of me knowing that I was doing His will, doing what He would do if He were on the earth, and I was doing this along side those I love deeply! In fact, though my day started while it was still dark and went late into the night, I didn't want it to end. I wanted to take in all that He wanted to show me.
The next day Pastor Hassan spent the first several hours studying and preparing for the message he was preaching later that afternoon. Me, Shana and the boys walked around the town we were staying in. Bakarr had gone to high school in this town so we stopped at one of his friends' houses. A man came up to us and gave us a track and witnessed to us while we were there. I loved this! Absolutely loved it! The deep desire for the gospel to go forth was evident every where I turned. This has spurred me on to boldly share Christ more with those in my own country!
We headed back to Makeni for an afternoon Thanksgiving service at a church there. This small congregation that meets in a make-shift tin building with a dirt floor was celebrating one year of their gatherings. Pastor Hassan was the guest speaker. Several of our kids from the home came to help with the service. It was a precious time! Shana and I were able to hold babies and talk with the women after the service before heading out again.
Next we visited a facility that housed blind chidren. It was not a home. It was an old slughter house for animals. The living conditions were terrible. It broke my heart. The children were joyful. A little girl happily sang a song for us and we were able to give her a pair of shoes. The few staff members were able to express their trust in God to provide despite the bleak living conditions. I left here with a very heavy heart.
We still had shoes left so we drove for a few hours and stopped at another village to deliver the rest of them. It was late at night and raining but the pastor and his wife met us on the road with smiling faces. We filled blankets full of shoes and piled them on the porch of one of the homes.
Just as I loved all the ministry packed into our two day trip, I loved the hours of time in the car having conversations about eternal things that last. At one point I asked Pastor Hassan, "How do you choose what projects to take on?" His response was, "If something breaks my heart, I pray and ask God to provide. Sister, you have to have faith. What is impossible with man is possible with God." He then told me, "I am something like a dreamer. I start things and then pass them on to others to run while I oversee. Even now I want to focus on just preaching the gospel." This man is not Jesus, he is not perfect, but his life has been devoted to doing the will of God in his impoverished country where many have been left with great needs and no hope as the result of a brutal war. I have seen with my own eyes and now know with my heart, is not easy, it is messy, it has brought trials, heart ache, persecution, sleepless nights, great temptation, slanderous accusations, betrayel of close friends, health problems, stress, exhaustion, seperation from those he loves and much, much more. His ministry is not glamorous. Who wants to drive hours to remote villages to deliver shoes so children can go to school, so children can know the provision of God? Who wants to preach to small congregregations in stuffy tin buildings with dirt floors. Who wants to make sure blind children are not overlooked? Who wants to be responsible for 100 orphans being fed, clothed and educated so they might be the Nehemiahs of their nation? Who wants to do all of this and so much more so that many would put their hope and trust in the One, True living God? Now, I can say I do because I have watched the lives and doctrine closely of those who are living their lives to do these things and more. Just as I want to honor my pastors here in America for following the call of God to lead and shepherd and meet the spiritual and physical needs of our own nation, I also want to honor Pastor Hassan. I believe we give honor where honor is due. I believe our Heroes should be those who make us want to be more like Christ. Hassan is one of those men for me now more than ever.
We are the body of Christ. We were created to be interdependant on one another. Where one is weak, another can help. God uses the lowly, despised things of the world to shame those who are wise in their own eyes.
I have so much more to share with you, so I hope you will keep reading in the days to come as I try to share with you the message I feel God has given me to bring back to my sweet American family.
I am not exalting men, I am exalting God.
I saw God shining brightly through the imperfection of human men. This is what amazes me. We are so weak. Our hearts are wicked and decieve us. Yet, the God of the universe chooses to use us, the weak, the lowly, the sinful, to prove Himself strong and powerful...to show His love to the poor and needy, to the strong and powerful, to glorify His son through our broken lives. So, while we know perfection is not attainable this side of eternity, yet we still strive for this. But what IS attainable is to be fully devoted to Him and His causes. When we seek Him with our whole heart, He pours out grace over all of our many imperfections, His love covers the multitude of sin living in our hearts day to day and He shines bright enough to be glorified through our fragile lives! He is the Treasure living inside of us. His is the power at work within us. So we bow down to Him, submit to Him and trust Him to be God through us. In doing this He is exalted in all the earth.
I was continually faced with my own weakness and inability to meet the most minor needs. But over and over and OVER He reminded me, HE IS ABLE. I did not go to Africa just to feed orphans. I went to Africa to glorify Him and allow Him to do whatever He chose through me for the two short weeks I was there. As my husband reminded me one night on the phone as I cried over my inability to meet all of the needs I was faced with...He did not call us because we were qualified. No, the ones who think they are qualified are the least likely to be used. It is the broken and contrite heart that He wants. It is the life that says, "I am nothing without You," that He desires to use. It is the person who lays down his life, his plans, his everything so that Christ can have complete reign. He is strong enough in our weakness. THERE IS NO OTHER GOD LIKE HIM!
I have returned to America realizing I have nothing to offer that He doesn't provide from His own hand...and whatever He provides is the right amount to give. He alone knows what is needed, I only need to keep my eyes focus on the eternal One, the eternal things that last and trust Him to live through me. Food is temporary, shoes are temporary, education is temporary, but relationships are eternal. My relationship with my sweet Savior and the people He has called me to do life with are more of my focus now. Everything we do should bring us closer to Him and the people He came to save.
So much more to come. I can't wait to write about our time with the precious children of the Wellington Orphanage.
Remember, OUR GOD IS ABLE, even when we are not!
(My camera is on its way from the London airport where I left it on the plane...thank God for Fed Ex! Pictures to come soon, Lord, willing).
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
A FEW LOVED ONES, 2 HYMNALS, 1 BIBLE AND A COUPLE OF BREATHS TO ETERNITY
My husband wrote this several weeks back after visiting Dwight Bruss in the hospital before he passed away....
I just got back from witnessing a beautiful sight!
I just got back from witnessing a beautiful sight!
For my lunch hour I went to visit Dwight Bruss at the hospital. The news was not good with Dwight so I was kind of startled when I arrived and saw Angie and Ann holding Hymnals singing over him. Soon Brian joined in and the beautiful voices were brightening a place usually associated with pain. Then I noticed something more amazing! Dwight’s face was lighting up!! The muscles in his face where coming alive! Twitching! There was no sound that I could hear but clear as day HE WAS SINGING TO THE LORD ALMIGHTY WITH WHAT HE HAD LEFT! He could not breathe on his own. He could not feed himself. He could not lift his arm but he was not letting that stop him.
The only thing standing between him and eternity was few loved ones, 2 hymnals, 1 bible and a couple of hundred breaths but he was just as alive as ever!
Isn’t that true for all of us! How Beautiful! How Powerful! You can take everything from the Man of God but he is still ALIVE in Him!
It reminded me of a song from Tim Hughes called “When the Tears Fall.”
In the lone hour, of my sorrow
through the darkest night of my soul
you surround me, and sustain me
my Defender, forever more
when hope is lost, I'll call you Savior
when pain surrounds, I’ll call you Healer
when silence falls, you'll be the song within my heart.
I will praise you, I will praise you
when the tears fall, still I will sing to you
I will praise you, Jesus praise you
through the suffering still I will sing.
When hope is lost, I’ll call you Saviour
when pain surrounds, I’ll call you Healer
when silence falls, you'll be the song within my heart.
through the darkest night of my soul
you surround me, and sustain me
my Defender, forever more
when hope is lost, I'll call you Savior
when pain surrounds, I’ll call you Healer
when silence falls, you'll be the song within my heart.
I will praise you, I will praise you
when the tears fall, still I will sing to you
I will praise you, Jesus praise you
through the suffering still I will sing.
When hope is lost, I’ll call you Saviour
when pain surrounds, I’ll call you Healer
when silence falls, you'll be the song within my heart.
On the way home I had two thoughts.
1. “LORD, give me the same Spirit!”
That even when my body fails me my Spirit will still desire you so much that my body will shake with animation! That even when I cannot move that my light would still shine and brighten a room when YOUR PRAISES ARE SUNG! That those around me would see that even when the flesh fails that I AM STILL ALIVE IN YOU! AND I WILL!! WITH MY LAST BREATH I WILL FIGHT FOR YOUR GLORY!! WHEN I WALK THROUGH FIRE I WILL NOT BE BURNED!! NO ONE!! NOTHING CAN CONTAIN THE PASSION OF KNOWING YOU!!! WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS MY SOUL WILL DANCE WITH YOU! WHERE THE LOVE LAST FOREVER!
2. That the man who trusts in HIM is forever powerful!
Even when Dwight could not lift a finger to help anyone just the power of his spirit still influenced the core of my being that day. And the room was filled with those who will never be the same because of the God who he had served! The wicked will exert their power within the moment and then they will be stripped naked and filled with shame. Everything they do will blow away in the wind and be forgotten. But OUR GOD MAKES US FOREVER POWERFUL! EVEN OUR LAST BREATH WILL SEND RIPPLES THROUGH ETERNITY!
Lord, thank you for the Life and Death of Dwight Bruss! Thank you for his weakness which became your strength. May the power of his life continue to change all of us. May we follow in his footsteps and run to YOUR OPEN ARMS! As everyone of us comes down to our last few breaths may we sing Your praise. Just as when you were down to your last few breaths you thought of us.
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