My Earthly Treasure

I wrote this for my sweet man in honor of February 13th...the day we met! He is more than I deserve!

My Earthly Treasure

There is a man the Lord gave to me,
he saw my wounds, my shame and defeat.
He made a vow in his heart to God,
to lay down his life and help carry my cross.
My sins had been many, my forgiveness was great,
he knew by the power of Love I would break,
only to be put back together a new,
by the pure love of God through this man who was True.
No matter how hard I pushed him away,
his love grew stronger day after day.
He never gave up after nights of tears,
or storms of emotions of anger and fear.
He sat at my feet confessing Christ’s love,
whispering where I was going despite where I was.
The years have passed by and healing has come.
peace settled in as I’ve been undone.
When I look at this man, my lover, my friend,
I know by my side he’ll be till the end.
He worships the Lord in undignified ways,
pointing our children to the One worthy of praise.
He acts justly, loves mercy and walks humbly with God,
putting us first no matter the cost.
He’s a mighty warrior defending the weak,
with his entire life, the Lord he seeks.
With integrity of heart and skillful hands,
he leads those around him like a noble man.
I could search the world over and I’d never find,
A more valuable treasure than this man of mine.

Going Back To Sierra Leone in March!

Hello Friends!

I have an incredible opportunity to return to Sierra Leone in March. I know some of you probably think by now I have a slight addiction :) I have never felt a calling so strong in all my life as I have towards these kids!

When I left in November I immediately began praying about the Lord providing an opportunity for me to return before the summer for a trip that focused on the kids. The traditional mission trips to Sierra Leone include a great deal of medical clinics with the central purpose of evangelizing the villages we are providing medical care in. I have loved these trips!

I spent a large portion of my time in November at the orphanage with the kids. I saw, more than my first trip, the deep emotional needs of the children. Pouring into their lives is like pouring water into a sponge. They believe they are the Nehemiah's of their nation...so do I. If this is true then they need to be poured into, encouraged and built up in the Lord.

I naturally bonded more with the boys my first trip. Not only because I have 3 boys but because they are more outgoing than the girls. The girls in the home are shy and introverted in general. This is an expected response to the tragedy of losing their families in a brutal war.

When I left in June after my first trip I immediately began praying for a way to connect with the girls on my next trip. The Lord answered this prayer. Because I stayed in the girls' sleeping area in November I made so many connections with them. I had also been writing several of them and relationships had begun this way. I had intentions of doing bible studies with the girls and having structured as well as fun times like late night pajama parties with them. I feel much of this was left undone.

The medical clinics left me emotionally drained. I know I was called to be a part of them, but they left me emotionally spent, in a good way. The med clinics were a tool the Lord used to bring a great deal of necessary brokenness in me.

In the weeks of prayer since my November trip I have cried out to the Lord asking for Him to make a way for me to return so that I could really engage with the kids, in particular, the girls, in times of structured bible study, share time and prayer. I knew for this to be accomplished it would take a trip where the kids' were my only focus.

A few weeks ago I found out about a trip being led by two men who live in Texas. Other than the two men the rest of the team is all women. The focus is to serve, disciple and love on the girls in the Wellington Orphanage....all 43 of them! We will be in the country for 7 days. Out of those 7 days we will only leave the home 3 times. Once to take all of the kids to the beach, once to go to the market and another time to make a trip to a village called Rokbob to minister to the women there. The rest of the time we will have at least 3 hours of every day set aside to do bible studies and have prayer and share times with the girls. We will also be doing fun things with them like slumber parties, craft times, etc. Each missionary will be assigned 3 or 4 girls and will focus on pouring into those girls over the week.

When God led me take on a teenaged girls' bible study 3 years ago I never dreamed I would have an opportunity to serve teenaged girls who were orphans because of a terrible war who lived in the second poorest nation in the world!!! I know that I do not deserve such a blessing. I need these girls more than they need me!

We have had two teenaged girls live in our home over the last 3 years. We currently have our sweet 17 year old god daughter, Wendy, living in our home. I feel like this is confirmation that this trip is the Lord's plan, yet I do not feel it has adequately prepared me. I will have to rely 100 percent on the Lord to use me in the lives of these girls. I am unqualified and must trust Him to flow through me!

I have just found out that in order to save $300 on the cost of our plane tickets we must have them purchased by January 15th. The cost of the airfare will be $1300! I must be honest, while I know nothing is too hard for the Lord, I am insecure about raising this kind of money in such a short time. I am going to do all I can do at this point and pray!

If you are unable to give financially will you please join me in prayer that the Lord will provide the money for me and the other ladies on the team. I will be traveling with another sweet teenaged girl from Oklahoma, Deborah Lange. Please lift us in prayer in the upcoming months as we seek the Lord to prepare us in every way!

If you feel led to give joyfully, not under compulsion, to my trip you can mail checks to our address at 1700 Godhania Rd. Edmond, Ok 73003. Please make all checks payable to 4HIM to assure you receive a tax deduction.

You can click on this link to view pictures from my recent trip: http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=50904349&albumId=2871111 You can go to my blog to read about some of my experiences from my recent trip: http://shannacrawford.blogspot.com/

Below is an email from one of the leaders of the trip explaining the urgency of having the $1300 in by January 15th.

I love you all more than you know! I count it a great honor to partner with you in various forms of ministry. You are a joy to me!

In His Love,
Shanna Crawford

Everyone,

I have some great news and not so great news to share with you.

The great news is that, just last night, I found a special rate for round trip airfare to Sierra Leone through London that only cost $1,375. This is the best price that I have ever seen...EVER. Most average in the $1,800's. With that said, the total cost of our trip just went down to $2,700 instead of $3,000. Yep, that's a free 300 bucks if you're doing the math.

Here's the bad news. That rate is only good through January 15th, then its going to shoot back up. I really want us to try to get that money in if at all possible. This is a great opportunity to save $300 overall.

I know this might be a stretch for some of you to get that much in so soon. If it is, let me know and we'll try to work something out. We can talk about it this Tuesday at the meeting.

Make sure all checks are made out to 4 H.I.M.
and send to my address:

Chris Shabay
2107 Alma Dr.
Keller, TX 76248

Thanks everyone. Contact me with any questions or concerns.

Jesus Wept

It was my second medical clinic to do. I honestly did not want to do the medical clinic. I wanted to stay at the orphanage and spend more time with the kids. God wanted me to do the medical clinic. His plans are always perfect.

Abraham boldly preached to the people before the clinic started. He told them why we were here to help them. It was all because of Jesus and His love for them.

Paul Colley and I had the role of praying with each person after they received medical care.

In the course of this particular medical clinic we prayed with a lady whose Muslim husband beat her up because she went to a Christian church. You could see the shame and discouragement in her face. I felt a heavy burden for her.

One of the women who came to me simply said, "I lost my baby yesterday." She had no tears, yet I could feel her pain. I asked her if she was a Christian. She told me she was Muslim. I felt God pray through me as powerfully as I had ever felt before. I felt as though He was going to take this painful situation in her life and use it to draw her to Himself and to show her His goodness. I know it seems crazy…but what’s crazier is that He even gave me the faith to believe this for her. I fully believe, even as I write this, that somehow, some way she is now a Christian.

At one point I heard a little boy screaming. I went to where Deziray was treating him. His mom was sitting next to him in a wheel chair. He was sitting by himself on a bench. He had an infection under his thumbnail that had been there for months. His thumb was 5 times the size it should be. He was crying hysterically, I was filled with compassion for him. As I sat him on my lap I began to rock him and sing ‘Jesus, Lamb of God’ softly in his ear. He began to calm down a bit. I held him and wiped him down with wet wipes while Deziray treated his thumb. He was in out of a crying frenzy. I held him as tight as I could and assured Him that Jesus was with Him and was going to make everything OK, that we were here to help him. His mom sat without a tear watching us. Deziray then went to look at his leg that had been broken for some time. It had healed improperly. The bone was almost poking out of his skin and it kept him from being able to walk without being impaired. Deziray was explaining that we could pay for an operation. She told the mom they would re-brake his leg, and then re-set it so that it would heal properly and he could walk right. The mom shook her head no. Deziray explained that he would be asleep and not feel anything and that it would be better in the long run. The mom adamantly shook her head no. I had empathy and compassion for the mom too. When Deziray went to give the little boy a shot for his infection he started screaming again. It took several people to hold him down. I kept telling him that this was going to help him heal. It broke my heart to see him so hysterical. I wanted him to know that He would always have Jesus’ love no matter what his physical conditions. I prayed for God to somehow instill this in his little heart.

There was a young man who was thin and had a HUGE tumor on the side of his neck. He had only had it a few months. I went to where he was collecting some medicine from the pharmacy area. One of the men who works at the orphanage was there. I had viewed him as one who had a quiet strength. He asked us all to gather around the man and pray for him right there. When he was praying I felt as if the Lord Himself were speaking through him. I prayed when he was done…the words kept coming out of my mouth as if they were already stored up in my heart. I wanted more than anything to see this young man healed, and more than that I wanted him to KNOW, really KNOW how much God loved him and wanted to use him in the lives of others.

About half way through the clinic I went to one of the windows and gripped the bars and looked out at the village. I felt as if He whispered to my heart that ‘He has compassion on all that He has made.” I felt as if I had no more prayers left. I felt depleted. I felt overwhelmed by the great physical and spiritual needs of the people. God was not overwhelmed nor intimidated, yet He still had compassion for where they were at. I asked Him to give me strength because I didn’t feel as if I could make it.

Each person that would sit down to have us pray with them would leave me wondering how I could even get the words out. Each time I would look into their faces and smile and strength would come. I would close my eyes and open my mouth and the words would come too. As I prayed for each person there was a common thread for them to know His love…for them to have the faith to believe that His love would never fail…and that they would let His love flow through them into the lives of those around them to heal their land. When I was done I would feel weak and depleted until the next person came.

At the very end I began walking around quietly singing ‘The God of This City’ by Chris Tomlin. I was praying and believing the words of the song for the village and the entire nation.

You're the God of this city

You're the King of these people

You're the Lord of this nation

You Are

For there is no one like our God
There is no one like our God
Greater things have yet to come

Greater things are still to be done

In this city

Greater things are still to come

And greater things are still to be done here

You're the Lord of Creation

The Creator of all things

You're the King above all Kings

You Are

You're the strength in our weakness

You're the love to the broken

You're the joy in the sadness

You Are

Greater things have yet to come
Great things are still to be done
In this city
Where glory shines from hearts alive
With praise for you and love for you
In this city

Greater things have yet to come
Great things are still to be done

In this city

Greater things are still to come
And greater things are still to be done here

As I was walking around singing this song and praying, women would come to the windows with their babies tied to their backs asking for medicine for their sick babies. They knew we were going to close the clinic soon. It was almost too much for me.

As time passed it was harder and harder to hold back all of the emotion that I was feeling. I was on the verge of tears and it was becoming almost impossible to keep them from coming forth.
Right before we closed the clinic I looked over and I saw one of the boys from the orphanage. He had made a shirt and put his favorite verse on it. The back of his shirt simply said ‘Jesus Wept.’ In that moment I knew the Lord was showing me the way He felt when He was on the earth and would heal many while many were left unhealed. How desperately He had wanted them all to receive His love into their lives…the ultimate healing. He reminded me of how He went alone to weep and pray. He reminded me that He was giving me the wonderful blessing of sharing in His sufferings.

When we finally closed the clinic, Wade kleofkorn asked all of the missionaries to hold hands in a circle and pray. His prayer seemed to echo the prayer of my own heart, for the Lord to meet the needs of those we were not able to help.

My tears started to silently fall. It was almost painful to not be able to fully express all of the emotion I was feeling.

I hurried and got into the car and started weeping as if I had little control over it. It was coming from somewhere deep within me…and I was not embarrassed or ashamed. I don’t think I can even explain the depths of what I felt. Wendy and Solomon were touching my shoulder to comfort me yet it seemed as if human comfort was not enough. As we started driving my weeping went into a silent cry that would come and go. Wade reached back and held my hand. I began feeling His comfort through these 3 precious ones.

I looked out the window and looked up to the heavens and began repenting. I was telling the Lord how sorry I was that I had let so many things get in the way of letting Him love others more deeply through me. I began telling Him how sorry I was for putting value in things outside of relationships and people. I began begging Him to strip me of EVERYTHING that was me until there was nothing left but Him. I wanted more than anything to be completely poured out as an offering. I then wanted to be filled up with His love so that I could love more deeply than ever. I saw the great needs and I realized that the only thing that could heal this nation, heal the entire world, heal my life and the lives of others was His love. His love was the only thing that would never fail. His love was what I needed, Sierra Leone needed, America needed along with the entire world.

I decided on that drive back to the orphanage that I was not going back to my country unchanged. I was taking this love, compassion and forgiveness that I was experiencing to my own nation and anywhere else I went. I was not going to waste any more time on selfish living, it was a lie and it had been completely uncovered and brought to the light. I was living for Him and others, fully, from here on out. His love never fails….

On the Roof with Emmanuel

It was the end of the day, I was emotionally spent. I had just returned to the orphanage from a medical clinic we set up in an amputee village. I cried all the way from that village to the orphanage. I felt as if all day long the Lord had been showing me to pour out my ENTIRE life as a drink offering to Him. I mean all of it until there was none of me left…absolutely none of me. I felt I was finally at that place. I had nothing of me left to offer. I had been faced with my own sin, my own failures, my own inadequacies, my own human weaknesses all day and I knew He was the only One who could truly satisfy me and sustain me. He was the only thing of any value I had to offer anyone and I wanted as much of Him to offer as I could because the needs were so great all around me. I didn’t know what to do with all of my emotions, I didn’t want to be alone and I yet I didn’t know what I would even say if I had a conversation with anyone. I took a shower and I could hear the children’s voices outside and it brought peace and a hint of joy. I knew no matter how hard it was that this is what life was really intended to be about…pouring yourself out for His sake and the sake of others.

I went to just sit with some of the kids. I ended up going up on the roof with Benjamin. I started crying…he started playing with my hair and encouraging me. I was a 33-year-old broken woman being encouraged by God through a 13-year-old orphan boy who had become my son. I explained the best I could what I was feeling and what God was showing me. I quit crying, Emmanuel came up on the roof with us and Benjamin left. I literally had nothing left. I tried to push my issues aside and decided to just sit with this boy who was as much my son as my sons at home. We lay on the roof together and looked up at the moon and stars. It was breath taking. I started telling him that when I was at home I would run at night and listen to worship on my ipod. I would pray for the kids and my heart would ache from missing them. I told Him the Lord would bring comfort by reminding me that we were all under the same sky. We were looking at the same moon and stars. We were all one family underneath the same heavens that He created and sustained. All those nights of running, worshipping, praying, looking up at the stars begging God for things in their behalf, and now here I was on the top of a tin roof back in Sierra Leone with one of my African sons and we were looking up at the sky and marveling at God’s goodness together. It was a holy moment.

I then told Emmanuel that Jesus was all He needed. That even when I went back to America and he had times of sadness or discouragement that He had the Lord. I told Him how Jesus’ love would never leave or forsake Him…that His love would never fail. That even if the mountains fell into the sea and everything around him faded away He would have God’s love and that is all He really needed. It was God’s love that had rescued Him and carried Him to the place He was now. It was God’s love that lead me to come from America to lie on that roof with him looking at the stars and be a source of encouragement to him. It was God’s love through me that was bringing Him comfort at that moment…and even if I weren’t there God’s love would be. As I was sharing these things with Him I knew the Lord was speaking the same things to me. I always have access to His love. In America or in Africa. In my times of brokenness or joy. His love never fails me either. Silence quickly settled in. I felt the urge to fill in the silence with words. I felt the Lord whisper for me to be quiet and still and know that He is God. I felt Him asking me to let Him comfort me through this precious one.

The bell rang that summoned all the children in to the main room beneath the roof we were laying on for their nightly worship and devotion. Emmanuel and I did not move or say a word. We laid there while all 80 of those rescued ones worshipped the Lord with their voices lifted high and their hearts bowed low. We lay there holding hands, being still before the Lord, knowing, I mean REALLY knowing that He is God!

When the devotions were over some of the children were going to bed. Emmanuel had fallen asleep. I woke him up so he could go to bed. We got off the roof, I kissed him goodnight and I went to the bathroom. I was content and ready to crawl into bed. On my way to tell some of the other children good night I saw him sitting there alone and sad. I knew he didn’t want the moment to end. I felt the Lord whispering the question to me; will you pour out everything trusting me to flow through you in that moment? My answer was yes. This was an opportunity that I could not let pass. I asked Emmanuel why he was so sad…. he wouldn’t answer. I asked him if he wanted to look at the stars together again, he shook his head yes. I told him to go get us a pillow and I would get my bible, ipod and some snacks for us and we would meet back at the place we were sitting. When we met back, we ate some crackers and peanut butter, read some scriptures and talked for a few minutes. We then found a quiet place on the concrete. We lay on the pillow and shared my ipod. We held hands and looked up at the stars as we listened to worship music together. As I drifted in and out of sleep I would feel him breathing deeply and I knew He was peacefully sleeping. I knew the Lord was comforting us through each other. Solomon, my oldest African son, came over at one point and looked down at us and smiled. I finally got up quietly so I didn’t wake him. I just looked down at him sleeping so peacefully. I felt a deep love for him just as I do my sons at home. I thanked God for the gift He had given me that night. It was an indescribable experience. The only thing that could have made it better is if Jerome would have been there to scoop him up and carry him to his bed like he does with our Micah. I would have done it myself if I was strong enough. I quietly woke him so he could go to his bed. He gave me a big hug and staggered off. I cannot tell you how many times I recount this memory. It is forever sewn onto the lining of my heart.

Sitting at the Feet of Martha

It was the end of another long physically and emotionally draining day. Once again I felt as though I had been poured completely out and had nothing left. I went upstairs to go to bed. I peeked onto the girls’ balcony to say good night to any of the girls who might have still been up. Martha was still awake. She is 16 years old and she is the ‘head girl’ who is an overseer for all 40 girls in the home. She was sitting in a chair with her bible open whispering a Psalm she was reading out loud. Two other girls were asleep on the tile floor. It was very late. I was surprised she was awake. She tried to get up and give me her chair but I just wanted to sit at her feet. I looked up at her and asked what verses she was reading. She was reading the 27th Psalm. She handed me her bible and I read the Psalm aloud. I asked her what her favorite verse was out of all of them. She pointed to verse 10. ‘

10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me.’

She then began to tell me that when I returned to America it was very important for me to tell others about Jesus. She saw the importance of not only those in her primarily Muslim nation, but also those in my primarily Christian nation to be told about the Salvation found in Him alone. I knew in that moment the Lord had planned for me to hear these words. I immediately thought about the bible studies I lead, about the ministry that I have with my husband and the bible studies I attend. But was I really making it my chief goal to tell others who weren’t Christians about Jesus love, knowing people all around me were living their lives apart from Him and were spiritually dead? Was I doing this in my every day life like she was? I was confronted with how I pass up MANY opportunities to share Christ with those here in America. I get distracted by all my other Christian activities that I forget that we are called to be looking for opportunities at all times to share Christ with non-believers.

Martha then went on to tell me that she makes friends with Muslim girls so that she can tell them about Jesus and try to get them to accept Christ. She told me how she would beg her teacher at the beginning of her classes each day to give her permission to talk about Jesus for 5 or 10 minutes. Most of the time the teacher would say no, but sometimes the teacher would say yes. She said that sometimes the girls would make fun of her and call her holy Mary. She said that this would make her feel upset on the inside but then she would remember some verses in Matthew. She flipped her bible over to Matthew chapter 5 and read these verses to me:

10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

She said that she draws strength from the Lord through these verses when she feels rejected while sharing her faith.

She then went on to tell my about her physical trials. She was hit by a car while walking with a Muslim friend after school. She was walking with her friend trying to talk her into coming to church. After their conversation she went to tell her friend good-bye and when she turned to go back home she got hit by a car. She has had severe and constant pain in her back ever since. She told me how she lays in bed at night and asks the Lord to take away the pain. It doesn’t go away but she knows it keeps her close to the Lord. She also had her appendix burst and should have died but she said she knew the Lord saved her for a purpose.

She told me when the other girls in the home picked her to be the head girl she felt so humbled on the inside. She takes her role seriously. She prays for the girls, counsels them and loves them deeply.

I felt as though I were sitting at the feet of Christ. I know He was speaking through this precious, rescued one to encourage me to come back to my country and share His love on a deeper level and to take advantage of EVERY opportunity to tell others about Him pushing any hesitation aside…caring not what others might think but seeking His approval alone.

I can tell you that my conversation with Martha has changed me…changed the way that I reach out…changed the way I see the spiritual need in my own country. I could have sat at her feet all night soaking in every word. She is daily pouring out her life for the kingdom’s causes. She is bringing the good news to all those around her and her example has lead me to do the same. I long to be with her again and have long conversations about all the Lord is doing in and through her. She is quiet, humble and full of His love and joy. I pray the Lord would do even a portion of the work in me that He has done in her. I pray when I return to Sierra Leone next time that I could serve her. I pray I could wash her beautiful feet that bring His good news to her broken and hurting nation. She has become a daughter to me and I love her deeply.

Memoirs from Sierra Leone, Africa

I will be writing out in detail all that God showed me while I was in Sierra Leone last month. I will write out the experiences and emotions I felt. I will not bother with trying to put them in chronological order. The time all ran together while I was there because it was such a surreal experience. I will also include some of the letters the children wrote to me. If you would like to look at my favorite pictures from the trip you can click here and you can also view more pictures by clicking here. Once you get to the pictures you can click on any individual photo to view a larger image.

The pictures tell a story in themselves.

The team did a total of 6 medical clinics. I was a part of 3 of those medical clinics. Many lives were saved because we were able to send people to the hospital that otherwise would have died. We also prayed with every person who received medical care.

Many of the children do not know their birth dates because they were so young when they came to the orphanage. We had one big birthday party for the kids. We spent an entire day shopping for birthday presents for all 80 kids. We were able to meet many of their educational needs as well.

We rejoice that the Lord has brought so much healing to these children, but we also had an opportunity to see how wounded they still are. They need the teams to continue to come to be a source of comfort and encouragement to them as well as be family to them. This is the way the Lord always intended it to be...all of us being one big family!

I will trust as I write out my memories the Lord would use them in some way to draw you closer to His heart and to the heart of these precious, rescued ones.

Pray the Lord would provide the time and ability for me to write it all out.

I can tell you that my eyes have been opened to a whole new depth of His love, grace and mercy, not only towards the children and the people living in Sierra Leone, but towards me and the people living in my own country.

He has compassion on ALL He has made. His love is the only thing that will NEVER fail. His love is all we REALLY need. His love is better than life and is more than enough for every concern of our hearts.

Mission Trip - Rewind

OOPS! I forgot something. At the end of day 2 we had a surprise for some of the kids. We had given some money to the ladies that help at the orphanage to go into town and buy the kids some clothes and shoes.

At the end of the day after the medical clinic we lined up the clothes and shoes according to gender and size and the children all sat quietly and waited. When it was their turn they got to choose an outfit or a pair of shoes. It was the best thing in the world to see their faces and watch them try on the clothes to see if they fit. We even saw the girls giving their outfits to other girls that liked what they picked and getting a different one for themselves. This one of the many ways they would put each other first and show preference to one another.

Another example of this is when I offered Benjamin a granola bar. There was a handful of other boys nearby and he immediately started breaking off pieces of the bar and passing it out to the boys. He saved the last piece for himself. I was amazed at their genuine servant hood to one another...the kind that flows from Love and not obligation.

I began praying and asking the Lord to do this in my own heart and the hearts of my boys. I also asked Him to do this among believers here in America. It was beautiful to see such an accurate picture of what the body of Christ is intended to be like.

We also gave the ladies who served us while we were there money to buy themselves each a new dress. It felt so wonderful to offer them a small token of our love and appreciation of their sacrifice.

Tomorrow I will post about day 4.