Friday, March 12, 2010

Out of the Mouth of Babes!


Oh life just doesn't get any better!!!!

Jerome and I were talking tonight and Micah came into the kitchen with a piece of paper with words written on it. He said, "I've been in my room writing a worship song."

Before I ever read the words I felt inexpressible joy on the inside. You have no idea what a gift this was to me. You see, not only are Jerome and I absolute worship junkies. I struggle with 'feeling' like I am not doing a good job as a mom. I mean, any 'ole normal mom maybe...but I don't want to be any 'ole normal mom. I want to be a mom that loves and leads her children to the heart of God...a mom that loves so lavishly that her children know God's love because of hers...and honestly most days I 'feel' like I miss this mark.

Oh I have learned to count it all joy. I have learned to not listen to my feelings. I have learned to get back up, let Jesus dust me off and walk in his new mercies the next day. I have learned to trust that He is weaving everything together for good…even my mistakes. I have learned that it is OK for my children to not have the perfect mom. They don’t need to see the perfect mom. They need to see the imperfect mom who fails, repents, turns back to God and keeps running the race. They need to see this modeled because Christ will be perfect for them so they don’t have to be. They need to see a mom who desperately loves God no matter how much she fails. If they see my desperation for God they will have the best chance as they too chase after Him in their imperfections and cry out to Him in their weaknesses.

I have learned to love the boys better as the years have gone by. But I still have a nagging fear on the inside that I should be doing better. The truth is, my very best is not enough, it will never be enough. Being a mom is one of the many ways I recognize my need for His grace, His forgiveness, His mercy. No, I am not enough for my children, but He is more than enough for them, just as He is for me.

So, tonight, as God gave me a peek into my sweet boy’s heart, I am basking in His grace and mercy. He is so much more than I deserve and yet this causes me to love and worship Him even more. He put a message on Micah’s heart. His message was not only to Micah, it was also to me. Maybe it is a message to you too whether you are a mom or not. I pray Micah’s worship song speaks to you. Here are the lyrics:

I give my life to you God. It is not enough. And God, you still forgive me. O God. Yes, O God. You gave your son for me God and I wish I could give enough God. But I can’t. Yes, O God.

Is he not the most precious thing EVER!

We serve a God who makes his home in the heart of the ex-drug dealer, the ex-stripper, and the sweet, home-schooled little boy! There is no one like our God. He is worthy of all glory and honor and praise. He alone is enough for every single one of us!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank u for posting this, Shanna...you don't know how much I needed to read these words! I praise God that He is perfect and that He can use me imperfections and all to bring Him glory.

Jayme

Jenny said...

Ok, that is just too much! If that is anywhere near as beautiful as the heart of God I cant stand it! I love HIM so much. He moves in even the smallest hearts and Micah GETS IT! More than me I think :) I love that kid. Thank you for this wonderful blog Shanna. I am so proud to be aunt

shanna said...

Jayme...isn't He so wonderful to use us!!! Jenny...Micah loves his aunt Jenny!

shanna said...

Jayme...isn't He so wonderful to use us!!! Jenny...Micah loves his aunt Jenny!