I was the sinful woman.

A friend sent me a text yesterday morning telling me that she had read Luke 7 during her time alone with the Lord. I decided to read it also. Even though I have read Luke many times, these scriptures washed over me anew and stuck with me all day.

Part of this chapter gives the account of the sinful woman who anoints Jesus with her tears mixed with expensive perfume in an extravagant act of worship. All that is said about her is that she had a reputation for her sinful lifestyle. My imagination can fill in the blanks.

I was her. I carried the reputation of the common day 'sinful woman.' My sins were not secret, they were out in the open for everyone to see. Even though I had terrible shame for the lifestyle I lived, I was powerless to live any other way. But then, I met Jesus...

When I was reading about this woman's interaction with the Lord I thought so much of my own first interactions with Him. She was obviously ashamed because she stood behind Him, not even able to look him in the eye. But she was desperate enough that she went right up to Him in the house of those who were 'religious.' Her worshipful weeping at His feet is incredibly beautiful to me. When I first came to Him, I spent days crying, praying, singing, reading His word and writing love letters to Him. I could not contain myself. Though my sins were many, and though I had so much shame, in the middle of my worship He would turn His face toward me and tell me, "Your sins are forgiven."

Jesus, the Son of God, the Lamb who takes away the sins of the world, told me, of all people, 14 years ago that MY SINS ARE FORGIVEN! I had lived as long as my memories started blanketed in shame. As a young girl I started giving myself away hoping to get love in return. As a teenager I ended up dancing in topless clubs for men and addicted to cocaine along with every other drug. I lived that lifestyle for years. But in one desperate act of worship I fell at His feet, and Jesus turned to me and said, "Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you, go in peace." He knew me. He knew better than I did how I ended up at that place. He knew everything that was working against me to destroy my life and in one moment in time, by His powerful will, He stopped it all! He redirected the course of my life. He made me holy and pure though my sins were many and my shame ran deep.

Jesus did more than forgive the sinful woman, he honored her by commending her acts of worship in front of Simon. He pointed out that the one forgiven of the greater debt loves more. He told Simon that because the woman had been forgiven of much she was expressing her great love for Him by her extravagant and unashamed worship.

Oh how I can relate with this woman. Years later, I am still very aware that Jesus paid for my great debt. One I could never pay and that He did not owe. My sins were many and He forgave them all and took away my shame, nailing it to the cross. I love Him for this, SO MUCH! My heart is full of worship for Him, my great Redeemer. What started out as a simple faith in Jesus as the son of God, the only One who could forgive my sins and give me Salvation has grown with experience and knowledge of the scriptures over time. The more I understand the price He paid for my freedom and forgiveness, the more I worship Him. So instead of my love diminishing through the years, it only grows bigger and stronger. I can worship Him boldly and extravagantly without any shame. I can love Him greatly and deeply because of He loved me first.

I know my worship has value to Him. In fact it is all I have to offer Him that noone else can give. He can not get MY love, affection, praise and adoration from anyone else...and may I never hold this back from Him after all He has done for me.

Yes, I was the sinful woman. My sins were many, my debt was great, but Jesus turned to me and said, "Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you, go in peace" and I have never been the same. I will boldly worship Him! I will extravagantly love Him all the days of my life on this earth and into eternity. I wll become even more undignified than this as I live forever more down at His feet!