A Mustard Seed Among Friends

This was written by my sweet husband:

What a difference 18 years makes! I remember sitting alone wondering, "God, how can I make a difference?" "Will I fall away?" "Won't I destroy this just like everything else I touch?" "Why do I seem to fail every time I try to make a difference?" "Am I fooling myself?" "Am I really in a relationship?" You see, I had just experienced complete failure. The Sunday school teacher had ask me to give the lesson. My first time to talk in front of a crowd with no alcohol in my system. I shared Galatians 5 and told the group that we were not "serving each other out of love." I told them we needed to bond together and reach out be His Hands and Feet together. I did not present this in a rude way but some in the class called me out. "Who do you think you are coming in here barely saved telling us how to live our lives?" ....GOD PLEASE NEVER LET ME BE CONTENT! NEVER LET ME BE SELF RIGHTEOUS!

What could I do? I had two choices:

1. Go back to my house where people were smoking dope and drinking and join in.

2. Go home and walk right past them to my room and fall to my face and call on the Great Name! I was so empty! All I had to do was take a few steps into my living room and false peace could comfort me! Lie to me! NO!

I WAS TIRED OF THE LIE! I WILL GO TO THE CROSS! READ HIS WORD! CALL TO HIS MIGHTY NAME! SEARCH ME GOD! CHANGE MY HART! I WANT YOUR PRESENCE! SURROUND ME! I CANNOT SURVIVE ON A DEVOTIONAL! TAKE ME TO YOUR CROSS! A mustard seed was planted!

I guess some things don't change because today those same few steps can now make me one of the self righteous Christians who are satisfied living the selfish empty church life. They breathe in their man made righteousness just as my friends in the living room sucked in dope. They drink in up their church attendance like it was a bottle of Jack Daniels. IT IS EMPTY! GET ALONE WITH HIM! CALL TO HIS MIGHTY NAME! LET HIM DRIVE YOU TO ACTION! GOD OPEN OUR EYES TO THE WORK OF YOUR HAND! LET US SEE YOUR MIGHTY NAME! MAY THE VERY WHISPER OF JESUS BRING FIRE TO OUR VEINS! MAY IT DRIVE US TO YOUR WORK!

Fast forward to the present day.

Friday, Hillsong United was in concert! I arrived a few hours early. There was already a stream of people flowing into the Loyd Noble. I started seeing those God had used me to minister to 1... 5... 10... Some I spent devoted periods of my life with and others I prayed for salvation with, still others I helped for a short, hard period of their life. GOD OPEN MY EYES TO THE WORK OF YOUR HANDS! Soon the stadium was filled with HIS handy work! All over the stadium they called to HIS GLORIOUS NAME!

I looked down to the floor and there was Brandon Morris! Years ago he walked into Oasis high on Cocaine but the cocaine could not save Him from God's Mighty Hand! Now here he is Raising His Hands calling out to MY GOD! HOW SWEET IS THE NAME OF JESUS! OUR GREAT GOD TAKES OUR MUSTARD SEEDS AND GROWS THEM INTO MIGHTY OAKS! Thank you GOD for using me to make a difference! My life is filled with PURPOSE! Everywhere I go I see those He has worked through me to change.

But there is a middle part to this story. You see my Life changed when I met those of you who have worked with me through the years. Many of you have stepped in when I was weak! Many of you have given when I did not have the money to do His work. Many of you have spoken when I did not have the words. Many of you have encouraged me when I did not have the strength to move on. Many of you with the words of your mouth have driven me to new heights. You see I needed that Sunday school class and I knew it. Now God has surrounded me with those who empower me. I pray that He would open your eyes to THE WORK OF HIS HANDS! Seek Him with everything you have! And one day your mustard seed will grow into a mighty oak!

Spending Time with Him

This morning I didn't have the boys, thanks to Aunt Nina :) I decided to use all my treasure time to just worship Him. It took about 30 minutes or so of listening to music with worshipful lyrics to just focus my mind fully on Him. There was a struggle to keep my mind from wandering. I was determined. I am so glad He gave me the grace and strength to push through. We have to relentlessly pursue Him, not giving up. He is our prize.

I am coming away with this: There is NOTHING that can take the place of drawing near to Him, spending time alone with Him in His Presence. every day.

I have been fighting to keep Him as my focus. There are many things that I feel strongly about concerning His kingdom work. My flesh wants to run full speed into these things, not stopping to daily seek Him for Him. He could fix all the things in the world that I am passionate about...without me. He chooses to use me for reasons of His own, not to any credit of mine. BUT these things are not the point. He is the point. He is the prize of this life and for all of eternity. We too are His prize. He came for us. And we seek Him not only for ourselves but also for others. So that not only will we have His abundant life but so that others might have this too.

I want to know Him more deeply. I want to live more fully alive to the glory of His name.

I want to sow to please the spirit so that I will not gratify the sinful nature of the flesh. I want to reap from the spirit love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self-control in greater measure.

I have come to believe more than anything else, without wavering, that spending time with Him is THE MOST important thing in our relationship with Him. I also believe it is that thing as Christians that we do the least.

Why is this?

I am reading through the gospels. A few things stuck out to me in Mark. Jesus made it a habit to go to solitary places and spend time with His Father early in the morning.

In the midst of the great needs of the crowds that followed Him, He disciplined Himself to go away and spend time alone with His Father in the middle of it all.

He also did this at the end of his hectic days.

I too want to follow His example.

Life is chaotic and demanding. There are a million noble, kindgom-worthy things in a day that could be done. None of those things compare to seeking Him. When we seek Him first AND in the midst of our day...He gives us power and strength to love our family, give encouragement to our friends, reach out to the lost, spend time with the lonely, meet the needs of the poor and whatever else we are called to for that day. Then when we spend time with Him before we end the day in sleep, we wake up with the gratefulness for a new day.

May I seek Him, first, last and all throughout my day. May my thoughts be fixed on Him. May I be consumed by Him. May I walk in His Presence at all times lifting high His name. He is the Answer for me and for others.

Yes, He is the Answer!

Interesting Statistics

We recently made a donation to an orphan ministry in Uganda. We got a thank you letter with some very interesting facts:

Thank you for choosing to be a part of Amazima Ministries. Your contribution is greatly appreciated. This gift will ensure that children in Uganda receive an education, nutritious hot meals, needed medical treatment, and so much more. Your support is not only educating these children, but in many cases keeping them alive.

There are an estimated 40 million orphans living in Sub-Saharan Africa. Ninety percent of orphaned children are malnourished, and 85 percent are not enrolled in school. Seventy percent of children not enrolled in school are involved in sexual behavior, others simply go hungry. Three million of these children will die of malaria this year, a disease easily treated with basic medical care. By supporting Amazima Ministries, you have ensured a brighter future for at least a fraction of these precious, vulnerable children.

THIS SPURS ME ON SO MUCH MORE to put James 1:27 into practice!

James1:27
27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

One life can make a difference! Please join me!!!!

I love the Africans...I love Jesus MORE!

I am longing to see my African family. I love and miss them so much. I will get to see their beautiful smiles and enjoy the rich fellowship we will share together in less than a week.

As I have been seeking Him on behalf of those I will be with in a few short days...Today I sought Him for Him alone. He has reminded me that He is the greatest desire of my heart. I forget. My affections get misplaced.

I have asked Him to increase my love for Him. I want to experience more of His Presence, more of His life inside of me. There is nothing I can do for His kingdom that can take the place of seeking Him, spending time with Him just because I love Him.

I pray that He increases my passion for Him. I already feel out of place most days. I am just being honest. I feel like I let the world calm me down. But He is slowly removing those restraints and giving me the faith to live more fully alive for His glory. I long for my passion to bring Him fame. I long for this fire to burn brighter on the inside of me. I long to care less about conforming to the patterns of this world and to care more about making every moment count for His sake!

As I yield more to this tugging in my heart to go deeper I find myself thinking of heaven more. I find myself caring less about the car I drive, the house I live in, the food I eat and the clothes I wear. I find myself wanting to sell all my possessions and give to the orphans and the widows. I find myself wanting to wake up even earlier to have even more time alone with my Lord. I find myself sneaking away in the middle of the afternoon to hide in my closet and listen to worship songs so I might feel just a touch of His Presence. I find my prayers being consumed with pleadings for Him to give me something that I can give to others whether it is a word of encouragement or meeting a physical need. I find myself feeling like the highest priority for me as a mom is to teach my children about who He is and how much He loves. I find myself wanting to use my influence for His kingdom instead of my own gain. I find myself being spurred on by a sense of urgency to tell others about this hope I have in Him so they too can have eternal life. I find myself not wanting to miss even a day of reading His word, because it is more precious to me than food. I find myself distraught when I realize I have sinned against someone. I find myself wanting this abundant spiritual life for those I love. I find myself despising the selfish parts of me that I am daily faced with.

I find myself crying out to Him to allow Jerome and I to love and serve those in Sierra Leone. If He said no...I would weep. I would mourn. But I would still love and seek Him with my whole heart.

While I love the Africans...I love Jesus MORE!

May my highest affections always be reserved for Him and Him alone!