I was the sinful woman.

A friend sent me a text yesterday morning telling me that she had read Luke 7 during her time alone with the Lord. I decided to read it also. Even though I have read Luke many times, these scriptures washed over me anew and stuck with me all day.

Part of this chapter gives the account of the sinful woman who anoints Jesus with her tears mixed with expensive perfume in an extravagant act of worship. All that is said about her is that she had a reputation for her sinful lifestyle. My imagination can fill in the blanks.

I was her. I carried the reputation of the common day 'sinful woman.' My sins were not secret, they were out in the open for everyone to see. Even though I had terrible shame for the lifestyle I lived, I was powerless to live any other way. But then, I met Jesus...

When I was reading about this woman's interaction with the Lord I thought so much of my own first interactions with Him. She was obviously ashamed because she stood behind Him, not even able to look him in the eye. But she was desperate enough that she went right up to Him in the house of those who were 'religious.' Her worshipful weeping at His feet is incredibly beautiful to me. When I first came to Him, I spent days crying, praying, singing, reading His word and writing love letters to Him. I could not contain myself. Though my sins were many, and though I had so much shame, in the middle of my worship He would turn His face toward me and tell me, "Your sins are forgiven."

Jesus, the Son of God, the Lamb who takes away the sins of the world, told me, of all people, 14 years ago that MY SINS ARE FORGIVEN! I had lived as long as my memories started blanketed in shame. As a young girl I started giving myself away hoping to get love in return. As a teenager I ended up dancing in topless clubs for men and addicted to cocaine along with every other drug. I lived that lifestyle for years. But in one desperate act of worship I fell at His feet, and Jesus turned to me and said, "Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you, go in peace." He knew me. He knew better than I did how I ended up at that place. He knew everything that was working against me to destroy my life and in one moment in time, by His powerful will, He stopped it all! He redirected the course of my life. He made me holy and pure though my sins were many and my shame ran deep.

Jesus did more than forgive the sinful woman, he honored her by commending her acts of worship in front of Simon. He pointed out that the one forgiven of the greater debt loves more. He told Simon that because the woman had been forgiven of much she was expressing her great love for Him by her extravagant and unashamed worship.

Oh how I can relate with this woman. Years later, I am still very aware that Jesus paid for my great debt. One I could never pay and that He did not owe. My sins were many and He forgave them all and took away my shame, nailing it to the cross. I love Him for this, SO MUCH! My heart is full of worship for Him, my great Redeemer. What started out as a simple faith in Jesus as the son of God, the only One who could forgive my sins and give me Salvation has grown with experience and knowledge of the scriptures over time. The more I understand the price He paid for my freedom and forgiveness, the more I worship Him. So instead of my love diminishing through the years, it only grows bigger and stronger. I can worship Him boldly and extravagantly without any shame. I can love Him greatly and deeply because of He loved me first.

I know my worship has value to Him. In fact it is all I have to offer Him that noone else can give. He can not get MY love, affection, praise and adoration from anyone else...and may I never hold this back from Him after all He has done for me.

Yes, I was the sinful woman. My sins were many, my debt was great, but Jesus turned to me and said, "Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you, go in peace" and I have never been the same. I will boldly worship Him! I will extravagantly love Him all the days of my life on this earth and into eternity. I wll become even more undignified than this as I live forever more down at His feet!

Going Back to Sierra Leone...

Sweet Family in Christ,

Well, it looks like it is that time again. God is calling me back to Sierra Leone, the land I have grown to love.

As usual I have been waiting until the last minute to send out an email asking for your help. I have been pondering over why I hesitate. I feel it is a burden on the body of Christ financially and have longed to be able to afford my own trips. Then He gently reminds me of the spiritual pride in this. He is God...He could provide our family with more income...but every part of these journey's to Africa have forced me to be totally dependent on Him. In the end this has caused my love and affection for Christ to grow.

Total dependence on Him is the resounding message He has been teaching my heart...particularly where the gospel is concerned. Though the cross is what saved me 14 years ago...today, this minute I need the gospel to be alive and active in me as much as I did then! As I understand the freedom found in Christ's death and resurrection more clearly I can more boldly share it with others. I have been studying scriptures that highlight the gospel and Christ's daily role in our lives...working more at memorization and meditation. I have been reading other materials, listening to podcasts from various teachers and having focused fasting and prayer times dedicated to understanding more of who He is and what He has done for me and for the world.

I am certain He has used my previous trips to Sierra Leone to aid in bringing me to this point. He obviously thinks they are necessary for the personal work He is doing in me which also affects every life connected to mine. I say all this to say, when God uses you to help me go, it is not only for the benefit of our brothers, sisters and the orphans there. It is also for me and those I'm called to minister to here starting with my family.

I will be travelling with Shana Rutz who is president of Komeo International Ministries. It has been a joy to help start this new non-profit organization. We hope to give the body of Christ in America an opportunity to care for orphans as well as the poor and needy in Africa. We also want to be a part of spreading the gospel in the primary Muslim nation of Sierra Leone. By God's grace we see the effects of this happening when we are there. We are incredibly humbled to be a part of what God has already been doing in Sierra Leone for many years. We are asking for the courage and strength to stay the course in the small part we have been called to.

Our trip dates are March 17-April 1. The first week of our time there will be focused on joining efforts with a team from OSU. I had the joy of serving in SL a few years ago with Dr. Mike Dicks who is an agricultural professor at Oklahoma State University. He, another professor, some students and a good friend of mine, Stephani, will be helping farm some land that will potentially be a food source as well as income for the Wellington Orphanage. Some of our kids from the orphanage will be helping with this project. This should be ALOT of fun! After the OSU team leaves, Shana Rutz and I will stay one more week. We will focus on gathering information needed for the sponsorship program to create a monthly budget. We will be able to meet with our American Helper on the ground to assist us with this. We hope to visit the 3 campuses of the 5 boys from the orphanage who are in college. Our main goal that second week will be to disciple and encourage the children through bible studies, prayer and worship times together. They each have great tasks ahead of them in the rebuilding of their nation, each assigned by the Lord. We want to empower them to walk in the fullness of all God has for them. We are also praying that we can take some of the children to evangelize the community and/or surrounding villages. Our list of to-do's while in country is daily growing. Pray God would show us HIS agenda and itinerary. We have many plans in our hearts but we desire the Lord's plans to prevail!

If you feel the Lord leading you to give, may it be worshipful, may it bring you joy and most of all may it bring you closer to Christ! I have been studying 2 Corinthians 8 and 9. I am asking God that all giving in the body of Christ reflect what I see in these 2 chapters. And may you know that any offering made towards my trip will result in much thanksgiving to God from me and those in Sierra Leone that I am going to minister to.

The cost of my trip is $2,900. Any amount donated will be a great blessing. You can mail donations to my address at:



Shanna Crawford

1700 Godhania Rd.

Edmond, OK 73003



Please make all checks payable to Komeo International Ministries for tax credit.



Here are some specific areas you can pray for us:



*That we would be emptied of ourselves and prepared spiritually for our time in country.

*That we would make the gospel our chief goal in all we do while we are there.

*That His plans would supersede our plans and His will would be done.

*That He would be glorified and lifted high through us.

*That we would grow a closer bond in our relationship with the children and staff through His Spirit.

*That we would hear His still small Voice and experience His Presence.

*That HIS ministry would be established through us.



I love you all so much my heart could burst. I am in awe that He has used you time and time again to help me visit and encourage those He has given me such a deep love for. May you know how much of a difference you are making in my life and theirs!



In our busy culture it means so much to me that you have taken the time to read this!!!



In His Love,

Shanna Crawford



www.komeo.org

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Komeo-International-Ministries/131737380225758