The Lost Are Found

Written by Jerome Crawford...

Today I had to drive all over the Southside for lunch. I have to do this at least once or twice a week so this is not anything foreign. But this time it was a little different. It is amazing how I can get so lost in the details of today that I forget the Great things He has done. As I drove today I past Southeast High school and I remembered. There is a little nail shop directly north of the high school. I used and dealt drugs there (it was a little restaurant then). I remember… A shooting involving a friend… Several fights… the messed up personalities of the kids I would hang out with. I kept driving and passed an apartment complex where I was involved with a drug deal gone bad. A guy stole some drugs from me and I came looking for him with a 45cal. When I set out to find him I was fully ready to shoot him if necessary (over $300 in drugs) I found him but was filled with fear that I would kill him if I pulled the gun so I just let him go. As I drove I ran into dozens of empty, violent desperate memories. I passed a grocery store on 59th that I used to frequent with my roommate. We would get high and laugh and act crazy there about once a week. He was pretty normal compared to the rest of us...one of the most amazing musicians I had ever met. We laughed so much. Every now and then he would talk about us killing ourselves. One night he talked 3 people into it and they all tried to talked me into it. I refused really I thought it was just an act. Several years ago he shot his wife and then killed himself in front of his three kids. I passed a lot of laughs and smiles but none of them real they all will or have ended in death. They would be great for reality TV but pain was the only thing that was real. Just an endless struggle to try to find some relief or at least fool everyone. We all knew the truth we just were too strong to be broken. Most of these memories were from 20 years ago but I remember like it was yesterday.

I was listing to my iPod and singing the whole time as I remembered. I started to sing a Hillsong live song ...

The lost are found! The blind shall see! The lame shall walk! The dead shall live!!

For this reason I will Love Your Holy Name! I was dead but now I live!! How powerful you are God to save me! Some will look at a star and marvel at your power but I will look in the mirror and know that You are unstoppable! HOW CAN I EVER THANK YOU!!! I AM ALIVE AND FILLED WITH PURPOSE AND HOPE!! HOW I LONG TO BE WITH YOU!!! . Please forgive my pride, my selfishness. How can I ever be discontent with the feast that You put in front of me. You are truly Good in all You do. Sometimes I wish You would just strip me clean and make me live a completely sinless life but that would be too easy for You! Instead You raise me as a child teaching me to long for Your name like baby longs for a mother's embrace. I was so ashamed, empty and foolish. Now I just want more of You. I want to know You the unstoppable God!