My precious 16 year old god-daughter Wendy is having a garage sale at our house May 16th, 17th and 18th to raise money to go on a mission trip July 21 to Aug 4th with Teen Mania, which is through Global Expeditions and Ron Luce etc. The trip is $2079 and she only has $400 right now.
If you would like to donate items for the garage sale you can bring them by my house and set them in front of our garage anytime between now and then. You can contact me at shannacrawford@hotmail.com and I will give you my address or us, Wendy or her family can arrange to pick up your items if need be.
Please pray for Wendy. She is so excited about this trip. She has prayed and feels strongly about her calling to go.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
My Story - Part 22
For the first time in my life I felt totally complete apart from a man in my life. Jesus had filled the empty places.
I still desired to be married at some point. I knew it would take a strong man to love me. I was not settling this time for anyone who was not as in love with Christ as I was. I wanted a man who was passionate about him. Be careful what you wish for :)
At this point I was 22. It was February of 1998. Christie and I decided that we were going to have a date with Jesus for Valentine's day. We got ready and headed to a local christian coffee shop called the Outer Cafe with our bibles and journals to do a bible study together. This particular night the Outer Cafe had a band. When we saw a group of young adults up front worshipping as the music was playing and we were so encouraged. (Up until this point we had not had others our age to fellowship with except each other).
The band playing was the band from a little church that met in an old bicycle factory called Life Church :) The singer was a guy named Brian Bruss. It was a small church with a few hundred people attending...(a lot has changed since then.)
Christie and I were so excited that when the concert was over we quickly approached the worshippers. The young people worshipping were in the singles' group at Life Church. Brian and one of the worshippers, Jerome, were best friends and led the singles' group together at the church. We found out that they were a group of people passionately in love with God that did life together. We knew right away they were not exclusive and loved new people joining their group. They told us of the weekly bible studies and events that they all attended together and invited us to join them. They had a "late night" party planned that night and invited us to come over.
Christie and I went that night to one of the girl's houses and we were amazed. Amazed at the acceptance...amazed at their love for God and each other...amazed that God had on purpose given us a community of authentic believers to fellowship with. It was a turning point for both of us. We both met our husbands that night and we were both married to them in less than a year.
That night I met the love of my life...Jerome Crawford. He was in one of the rooms telling his testimony to some people. He had been a christian for 6 years at this point. He had been saved at 21 after growing up in poverty and becoming a drug dealer. I noticed he was missing a finger and found out it was shot off in a drug deal aver 10 ounces of cocaine. I couldn't believe how freakishly similar our pasts were and how on fire for God he was. I was instantly drawn to him. I knew I wanted to marry a man like him....a man with a deep gratefulness for what God had done in his life...the kind of gratefulness that produced a love and passion for God that was demonstrated thru one's love for people.
Another observation that I made that night was that a lot of the people had screwed up pasts and now had a love for God that was the driving force behind their lives. The ones that had church backgrounds were equally as passionate and accepting. It was a beautiful picture of the body of Christ and it was what I had been searching for without even realizing it. These people were real about where they were at...real about their struggles...and their love for God was the banner they carried in humility. They were stinkin' hilarious too!!! I never laughed so much as I did in the months to come with this group. They brought such joy to my life.
Life long, intimate friendships that are still strong today were birthed out of this group. There is something precious and intimate about sharing your trials and joys in Christ together.
Not to jump ahead but I ended up marrying Jerome 6 months from the day we met...and now 10 years and 3 babies later we are more madly in love than ever!!!
I still desired to be married at some point. I knew it would take a strong man to love me. I was not settling this time for anyone who was not as in love with Christ as I was. I wanted a man who was passionate about him. Be careful what you wish for :)
At this point I was 22. It was February of 1998. Christie and I decided that we were going to have a date with Jesus for Valentine's day. We got ready and headed to a local christian coffee shop called the Outer Cafe with our bibles and journals to do a bible study together. This particular night the Outer Cafe had a band. When we saw a group of young adults up front worshipping as the music was playing and we were so encouraged. (Up until this point we had not had others our age to fellowship with except each other).
The band playing was the band from a little church that met in an old bicycle factory called Life Church :) The singer was a guy named Brian Bruss. It was a small church with a few hundred people attending...(a lot has changed since then.)
Christie and I were so excited that when the concert was over we quickly approached the worshippers. The young people worshipping were in the singles' group at Life Church. Brian and one of the worshippers, Jerome, were best friends and led the singles' group together at the church. We found out that they were a group of people passionately in love with God that did life together. We knew right away they were not exclusive and loved new people joining their group. They told us of the weekly bible studies and events that they all attended together and invited us to join them. They had a "late night" party planned that night and invited us to come over.
Christie and I went that night to one of the girl's houses and we were amazed. Amazed at the acceptance...amazed at their love for God and each other...amazed that God had on purpose given us a community of authentic believers to fellowship with. It was a turning point for both of us. We both met our husbands that night and we were both married to them in less than a year.
That night I met the love of my life...Jerome Crawford. He was in one of the rooms telling his testimony to some people. He had been a christian for 6 years at this point. He had been saved at 21 after growing up in poverty and becoming a drug dealer. I noticed he was missing a finger and found out it was shot off in a drug deal aver 10 ounces of cocaine. I couldn't believe how freakishly similar our pasts were and how on fire for God he was. I was instantly drawn to him. I knew I wanted to marry a man like him....a man with a deep gratefulness for what God had done in his life...the kind of gratefulness that produced a love and passion for God that was demonstrated thru one's love for people.
Another observation that I made that night was that a lot of the people had screwed up pasts and now had a love for God that was the driving force behind their lives. The ones that had church backgrounds were equally as passionate and accepting. It was a beautiful picture of the body of Christ and it was what I had been searching for without even realizing it. These people were real about where they were at...real about their struggles...and their love for God was the banner they carried in humility. They were stinkin' hilarious too!!! I never laughed so much as I did in the months to come with this group. They brought such joy to my life.
Life long, intimate friendships that are still strong today were birthed out of this group. There is something precious and intimate about sharing your trials and joys in Christ together.
Not to jump ahead but I ended up marrying Jerome 6 months from the day we met...and now 10 years and 3 babies later we are more madly in love than ever!!!
My Story - Part 21
Shortly after I moved in with Christie's family a woman named Melinda Lauffenburger started a women's group. She had different groups off and on for years. This one was to be modeled from the verses in Titus that talk about the older women teaching and admonishing the younger women. I think at one poit we even called it the P31 group. It was most often affectionately referred to as 'women's group.'
Melinda and her husband Dean were best friends with the Coopers. They lived in the same neighborhood in fact. They at one point had attended church together and often partnered together to love on those who were hurting...they still do.
Janny, Christie's mom was in the group along with some other precious ladies. There was no particular format. The things that were consistent about the group were: we met in Melinda's living room...there was always a time where someone played the piano and we worshiped together...there was always a time of intimate prayer...there were always tears and I love you's and hugs...there was always share time...there was always coffee and cookies too :)
It is hard to put into words what exactly this group was like. Melinda and the other 'older' (in their faith) ladies cared only about us younger, struggling ladies. They were there to serve, embrace and love us. They were full of wisdom...but the thing that overshadowed all else was the love that they poured into our lives in a gentle, humble way. They were full of encouragement for where God was taking us and yet would weep with us for where we were at. It would not fit into a nice little church bible study mold. (Not that nice little church bible studies aren't wonderful...they played a key role in my growth too!!!!!) It had a mold all its own created by Him. Some nights it might be one girl who was particularly needy and loving on her would be the focus for hours into the night. Many nights that girl was me. I found a place where I could be needy and I learned that God was not intimidated by my neediness. I may have Christie post her thoughts too. I can not explain to you the impact this group had on me. These women would be upset if they thought I were giving them any of the glory that should be God's. I know it was God thru them...but what a blessing that they were willing to be used in such a humble, serving way.
I was in this group for years and years...well into my married life. I nursed more than one baby on Melinda's couch thru tears while the worship was playing. Over the years God has always kept the group small and intimate and safe. Many woman have been nursed back to spiritual health thru this group. I have a better understanding of God's love having been a part of that community.
Had I not had that constant source of love and encouragement and gentle guidance...I am not sure where my unstable emotions would have led me. I have a deep love and admiration for Melinda, Janny, Cheryl, Lisa and the other ladies. They modeled for me how to love God and people with a genuine passion that is not boastful but humble and strong.
Next post I will share about meeting my precious husband!!!!
Melinda and her husband Dean were best friends with the Coopers. They lived in the same neighborhood in fact. They at one point had attended church together and often partnered together to love on those who were hurting...they still do.
Janny, Christie's mom was in the group along with some other precious ladies. There was no particular format. The things that were consistent about the group were: we met in Melinda's living room...there was always a time where someone played the piano and we worshiped together...there was always a time of intimate prayer...there were always tears and I love you's and hugs...there was always share time...there was always coffee and cookies too :)
It is hard to put into words what exactly this group was like. Melinda and the other 'older' (in their faith) ladies cared only about us younger, struggling ladies. They were there to serve, embrace and love us. They were full of wisdom...but the thing that overshadowed all else was the love that they poured into our lives in a gentle, humble way. They were full of encouragement for where God was taking us and yet would weep with us for where we were at. It would not fit into a nice little church bible study mold. (Not that nice little church bible studies aren't wonderful...they played a key role in my growth too!!!!!) It had a mold all its own created by Him. Some nights it might be one girl who was particularly needy and loving on her would be the focus for hours into the night. Many nights that girl was me. I found a place where I could be needy and I learned that God was not intimidated by my neediness. I may have Christie post her thoughts too. I can not explain to you the impact this group had on me. These women would be upset if they thought I were giving them any of the glory that should be God's. I know it was God thru them...but what a blessing that they were willing to be used in such a humble, serving way.
I was in this group for years and years...well into my married life. I nursed more than one baby on Melinda's couch thru tears while the worship was playing. Over the years God has always kept the group small and intimate and safe. Many woman have been nursed back to spiritual health thru this group. I have a better understanding of God's love having been a part of that community.
Had I not had that constant source of love and encouragement and gentle guidance...I am not sure where my unstable emotions would have led me. I have a deep love and admiration for Melinda, Janny, Cheryl, Lisa and the other ladies. They modeled for me how to love God and people with a genuine passion that is not boastful but humble and strong.
Next post I will share about meeting my precious husband!!!!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
My Story - Part 20
I reconnected with a childhood friend who I was friends with around the 7th grade. The times I had stayed the night with her in middle school, her family had taken me to church. I remember she would listen to Amy Grant too :) Her name is Christie Man she is still very much a part of my life today.
She had wandered away from God for a season. During that time she had a sweet baby girl who was 3 at this point in time. She had come back to God a year earlier and was living at home with her parents John and Janny. Her parents had a deep love for God and a commitment to those who were hurting. Christie also had a tender heart for those who were wounded...she still does.
Jessica was having some tough issues with the man she was engaged to be married to. It was clear that she needed to focus on those things and I needed to find somewhere else to stay. Christie Man eagerly asked her parents to take me in. They of course agreed. This was one the most special seasons of my walk.
Christie, Christine (Christie's daughter) and I lived in the upstairs part of her parents house. We would do bible studies together all the time, pray together, laugh together and cry together A LOT! John and Janny were a CONSTANT source of encouragement. They treated me as if I was their own daughter. I had never experienced so much love and acceptance. I soaked it all in and the love of Christ thru this family in such large doses healed some of the deepest wounds of my heart.
They spent countless hours counselling me...directing me and praying for me. Christie took me to work everyday. She was a servant to me in many ways.
My emotions were all surfacing and I was not fun to be around at times. The emotion that began surfacing more and more was anger. I would get angry for no particular reason. I had a very hard time crying. I would pray so much for tears but I had built such a wall of self preservation around my heart that they rarely seemed to come.
Christie and I loved worship and went to many Dennis Jernigan "nights of praise." We would come home on a spiritual high and talk for hours into the night about all that God was doing in us and marvel at His goodness.
I had precious alone times with Him too. I would get up in the mornings and kneel by a chair in the upstairs living room and pour my heart out to God...I would take walks in her neighborhood and tell God all that was going on in my heart. I was so in love with Him and so in awe of His provision for me that I felt like I could float away at times.
Oh...just writing this makes me cry. He has been so faithful to me. He is so faithful period. When we just let go and let Him have His way with us trusting in His plan as we lay ours on the alter life is as it should be...lived for Him in complete abandon.
Next post I will talk about my women's group.
She had wandered away from God for a season. During that time she had a sweet baby girl who was 3 at this point in time. She had come back to God a year earlier and was living at home with her parents John and Janny. Her parents had a deep love for God and a commitment to those who were hurting. Christie also had a tender heart for those who were wounded...she still does.
Jessica was having some tough issues with the man she was engaged to be married to. It was clear that she needed to focus on those things and I needed to find somewhere else to stay. Christie Man eagerly asked her parents to take me in. They of course agreed. This was one the most special seasons of my walk.
Christie, Christine (Christie's daughter) and I lived in the upstairs part of her parents house. We would do bible studies together all the time, pray together, laugh together and cry together A LOT! John and Janny were a CONSTANT source of encouragement. They treated me as if I was their own daughter. I had never experienced so much love and acceptance. I soaked it all in and the love of Christ thru this family in such large doses healed some of the deepest wounds of my heart.
They spent countless hours counselling me...directing me and praying for me. Christie took me to work everyday. She was a servant to me in many ways.
My emotions were all surfacing and I was not fun to be around at times. The emotion that began surfacing more and more was anger. I would get angry for no particular reason. I had a very hard time crying. I would pray so much for tears but I had built such a wall of self preservation around my heart that they rarely seemed to come.
Christie and I loved worship and went to many Dennis Jernigan "nights of praise." We would come home on a spiritual high and talk for hours into the night about all that God was doing in us and marvel at His goodness.
I had precious alone times with Him too. I would get up in the mornings and kneel by a chair in the upstairs living room and pour my heart out to God...I would take walks in her neighborhood and tell God all that was going on in my heart. I was so in love with Him and so in awe of His provision for me that I felt like I could float away at times.
Oh...just writing this makes me cry. He has been so faithful to me. He is so faithful period. When we just let go and let Him have His way with us trusting in His plan as we lay ours on the alter life is as it should be...lived for Him in complete abandon.
Next post I will talk about my women's group.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
My Story - Part 19
I am so sorry about being MIA. My husband has taken an XBOX fast so we have been hangin' out at night when I would normally blog. He had a late soccer game tonight so I am going to blog away :)
After I got back from LA my friend Jessica came and picked me up. We packed all we could into her car and headed to OKC. I started working at an insurance company with her right away and attending church with her. The church that she attended was charismatic which was very different from my Baptist experience. I loved the worship and the freedom to worship demonstratively. I went to a small home group with her too. I loved the people there.
I quickly learned things like reciting verses over and over and "claiming" them. I learned it was not OK to say that you were sick because it showed a lack of faith. I also learned that God wanted you to have material things so if you wanted something materially you simply believed in faith that God would give it to you and it would come to pass. I also learned anyone could have the gift of tongues by a church leader laying hands on you and imparting the gift to you. I was taught that after you recieved the gift of tongues you should "pray in the spirit" for at least an hour a day to build up your inner man. I also learned that I was a little god and had all the same powers as Christ and was lacking in faith if I did not exercise them regularly at will.
Now keep in mind that up until now I had little church experience...who was I to question what was biblical and what wasn't. What I later realized is that the "word faith" doctrine was being heavily taught and practiced in this particular church. It was very law like. It robbed me personally of a great deal of the relationship part of what God and I had together. I traded relationship for law. Instead of praying in a language I could understand every morning...I started praying in a language I obviously made up because I know now that I do not posses the gift of tongues. (I do believe some people have this gift but that it is given by God and not man.) Instead of pouring out my concerns to God I started claiming I didn't have them in His name. Instead of accepting rides from my friend Jessica thankfully as God's provision for me...I claimed a new car in God's name and tried to buy one on credit when I was financially unstable. Instead of reading books by authors that wrote humbly about how to love and serve God, I started reading books about how to be a little god myself. Instead of reading the bible in context chapter by chapter I started plucking verses out and quoting them over and over claiming God's material blessing and perfect health for my life. I also learned that I needed to rebuke the devil A LOT to keep Him out of my life. I learned that you needed to have deliverance from demons all the way from those behind eating sugar to those behind you being bitter. You needed to do this to be set free so you wouldn't stay in bondage. I inadvertently began giving Satan the focus that I once gave God.
I wanted so badly to live a holy life...to honor Him...and so I watched everyone at church and did what they did. Because I wanted this so much...it appealed to my flesh to be showy and boastful and authoritive.
It quickly began to fail me and instead of having a broken spirit before God I was prideful and puffed up. It all felt wrong. I wanted what I had at first...and God quickly lead me out.
My friend Jessica has the biggest heart to help people than anyone I have ever met. God used her to rescue me and she played a key part in what God did during that season of my life. She was committed to me and helped me to the degree that she could. Her motives were precious and her intentions pure. I am so thankful for her. I met some other sweet ladies that loved on me and prayed for me and I am thankful for them too.
Since that time I have studied the bible verse by verse for years and have come to realize how detrimental the word faith doctrine is. It is my opinion that when the bible warns us about false teachers in various places by various authors...the teachers of the woed faith teaching would be included in that warning. The primary reason is that it robs you of relationship with Him in many ways. It makes you god and gives you the appearance of control instead. It places us on the throne instead of at His feet which is our only rightful place.
I greatly desire unity within the body of Christ. However, sacrificing Truth and sweeping false doctrine or lies under the rug will not bring unity. There are so many things in scripture that we can peacefully agree to disagree on...this one is a deal breaker for me. I believe it is twisting and misrepresenting scripture and it is dangerous. Anything that takes us away from relationship with Him brings bondage....His Truth is the only thing that brings freedom and sets us free.
My heart breaks for those that are deeply entrenched in this type of teaching. I also have a holy frustration for those teaching it as Truth.
Send all hate mail to shannacrawford@hotmail.com :)
In the next posts I will talk about the family who took me in...the women's group that became part of my spiritual ICU and when I met my precious husband.
After I got back from LA my friend Jessica came and picked me up. We packed all we could into her car and headed to OKC. I started working at an insurance company with her right away and attending church with her. The church that she attended was charismatic which was very different from my Baptist experience. I loved the worship and the freedom to worship demonstratively. I went to a small home group with her too. I loved the people there.
I quickly learned things like reciting verses over and over and "claiming" them. I learned it was not OK to say that you were sick because it showed a lack of faith. I also learned that God wanted you to have material things so if you wanted something materially you simply believed in faith that God would give it to you and it would come to pass. I also learned anyone could have the gift of tongues by a church leader laying hands on you and imparting the gift to you. I was taught that after you recieved the gift of tongues you should "pray in the spirit" for at least an hour a day to build up your inner man. I also learned that I was a little god and had all the same powers as Christ and was lacking in faith if I did not exercise them regularly at will.
Now keep in mind that up until now I had little church experience...who was I to question what was biblical and what wasn't. What I later realized is that the "word faith" doctrine was being heavily taught and practiced in this particular church. It was very law like. It robbed me personally of a great deal of the relationship part of what God and I had together. I traded relationship for law. Instead of praying in a language I could understand every morning...I started praying in a language I obviously made up because I know now that I do not posses the gift of tongues. (I do believe some people have this gift but that it is given by God and not man.) Instead of pouring out my concerns to God I started claiming I didn't have them in His name. Instead of accepting rides from my friend Jessica thankfully as God's provision for me...I claimed a new car in God's name and tried to buy one on credit when I was financially unstable. Instead of reading books by authors that wrote humbly about how to love and serve God, I started reading books about how to be a little god myself. Instead of reading the bible in context chapter by chapter I started plucking verses out and quoting them over and over claiming God's material blessing and perfect health for my life. I also learned that I needed to rebuke the devil A LOT to keep Him out of my life. I learned that you needed to have deliverance from demons all the way from those behind eating sugar to those behind you being bitter. You needed to do this to be set free so you wouldn't stay in bondage. I inadvertently began giving Satan the focus that I once gave God.
I wanted so badly to live a holy life...to honor Him...and so I watched everyone at church and did what they did. Because I wanted this so much...it appealed to my flesh to be showy and boastful and authoritive.
It quickly began to fail me and instead of having a broken spirit before God I was prideful and puffed up. It all felt wrong. I wanted what I had at first...and God quickly lead me out.
My friend Jessica has the biggest heart to help people than anyone I have ever met. God used her to rescue me and she played a key part in what God did during that season of my life. She was committed to me and helped me to the degree that she could. Her motives were precious and her intentions pure. I am so thankful for her. I met some other sweet ladies that loved on me and prayed for me and I am thankful for them too.
Since that time I have studied the bible verse by verse for years and have come to realize how detrimental the word faith doctrine is. It is my opinion that when the bible warns us about false teachers in various places by various authors...the teachers of the woed faith teaching would be included in that warning. The primary reason is that it robs you of relationship with Him in many ways. It makes you god and gives you the appearance of control instead. It places us on the throne instead of at His feet which is our only rightful place.
I greatly desire unity within the body of Christ. However, sacrificing Truth and sweeping false doctrine or lies under the rug will not bring unity. There are so many things in scripture that we can peacefully agree to disagree on...this one is a deal breaker for me. I believe it is twisting and misrepresenting scripture and it is dangerous. Anything that takes us away from relationship with Him brings bondage....His Truth is the only thing that brings freedom and sets us free.
My heart breaks for those that are deeply entrenched in this type of teaching. I also have a holy frustration for those teaching it as Truth.
Send all hate mail to shannacrawford@hotmail.com :)
In the next posts I will talk about the family who took me in...the women's group that became part of my spiritual ICU and when I met my precious husband.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Random Thoughts about C.S. Lewis, trials, joy and contentment
Just taking a quick break to share my random thoughts.
I think C.S. Lewis was one of the most versatile, brilliant writers of his time and mine. I have been telling my husband for some time that his ideas almost parallel to Jerome's...especially the ones that don't fit into the church mold. Jerome and I have been listening to a book on CD. The writer compares Freud to C.S. Lewis. It starts by providing each of their backgrounds from child hood on. The writer explains how one accepts Christ and the other rejects Him. It is riveting. (Jerome now agrees that He and Lewis' views are freakishly similar.) I am also reading the Narnia series to Micah and reading a few other collections of his writings. I have been thinking more deeply and yet more simpler about my faith in Christ than any other writer has compelled me to do.
I am coming out of a hormone induced trial...I like to call those seasons PMS...they come faithfully every month. I have been thinking about trials...how when they come I still am shocked that everything goes from comfortable to frustrating in a short amount of time and it takes me a moment to pick myself up out of the pit of self-pity and remind myself that trials will always come and not to be so surprised by them. They are necessary to produce the things in me that I need in this life and in my relationship with God. They are to be welcomed and not rejected. I would be better to embrace them and pray for the strength to get thru them gracefully instead of praying for them to go away. His timing is perfect....my part is to abide in Him at all times, trial or not, right? Remind me of this next month please!
I have also been pondering true joy. Not earthly happiness that is here and then gone...always allusive and never possessing any real depth. God gave me the opportunity to stay the night with my sis-in-love who just had a sweet baby girl. My brother is in Iraq. They also have a precious boy under 2. You can imagine how her trial compares with mine. We sat up for a few hours after my nephew was in bed and talked. Not surface talk...the kind of conversation where you feel as though He were right there in your midst. Real, honest, transparent kind of conversation that changes you for the better. I then got to sleep in the same room with my brand-new niece and take care of her thru the night. She woke every two hours like newborns do. 45 minutes of each 2 hour slot was spent feeding, changing and marvelling God's goodness in sending her to my brother and Jenny...and to me and our families. She is an expression of His love to all of us. He is a miracle Maker. There was deep joy in knowing that my sweet sis-in-love was sleeping in the other room...soundly...uninteruppted so that she would wake up refreshed to His new mercies the next morning and that I was getting to stand in the gap for her in a small way. This is something that brought true, lasting, eternal joy.
I have been thinking about contentment. Godliness with contentment is great gain. Contentment in trials or joy. It is good...and attainable thru Him. Sometimes I am chasing after it and sometimes it envelops me. Worship is playing in the background...my house is semi-clean...my boys are having fun together...my mind is clear...my thoughts are on Him...I am content. Lord, in an hour if Blue's Clues is playing in the background....my house is all messed up...chaos is the tone of my house...and my thoughts are on the worries of this life...Let me learn to be content then too.
Thank you all for listening to my random thoughts. I will continue with my story tomorrow...Lord, willing.
I think C.S. Lewis was one of the most versatile, brilliant writers of his time and mine. I have been telling my husband for some time that his ideas almost parallel to Jerome's...especially the ones that don't fit into the church mold. Jerome and I have been listening to a book on CD. The writer compares Freud to C.S. Lewis. It starts by providing each of their backgrounds from child hood on. The writer explains how one accepts Christ and the other rejects Him. It is riveting. (Jerome now agrees that He and Lewis' views are freakishly similar.) I am also reading the Narnia series to Micah and reading a few other collections of his writings. I have been thinking more deeply and yet more simpler about my faith in Christ than any other writer has compelled me to do.
I am coming out of a hormone induced trial...I like to call those seasons PMS...they come faithfully every month. I have been thinking about trials...how when they come I still am shocked that everything goes from comfortable to frustrating in a short amount of time and it takes me a moment to pick myself up out of the pit of self-pity and remind myself that trials will always come and not to be so surprised by them. They are necessary to produce the things in me that I need in this life and in my relationship with God. They are to be welcomed and not rejected. I would be better to embrace them and pray for the strength to get thru them gracefully instead of praying for them to go away. His timing is perfect....my part is to abide in Him at all times, trial or not, right? Remind me of this next month please!
I have also been pondering true joy. Not earthly happiness that is here and then gone...always allusive and never possessing any real depth. God gave me the opportunity to stay the night with my sis-in-love who just had a sweet baby girl. My brother is in Iraq. They also have a precious boy under 2. You can imagine how her trial compares with mine. We sat up for a few hours after my nephew was in bed and talked. Not surface talk...the kind of conversation where you feel as though He were right there in your midst. Real, honest, transparent kind of conversation that changes you for the better. I then got to sleep in the same room with my brand-new niece and take care of her thru the night. She woke every two hours like newborns do. 45 minutes of each 2 hour slot was spent feeding, changing and marvelling God's goodness in sending her to my brother and Jenny...and to me and our families. She is an expression of His love to all of us. He is a miracle Maker. There was deep joy in knowing that my sweet sis-in-love was sleeping in the other room...soundly...uninteruppted so that she would wake up refreshed to His new mercies the next morning and that I was getting to stand in the gap for her in a small way. This is something that brought true, lasting, eternal joy.
I have been thinking about contentment. Godliness with contentment is great gain. Contentment in trials or joy. It is good...and attainable thru Him. Sometimes I am chasing after it and sometimes it envelops me. Worship is playing in the background...my house is semi-clean...my boys are having fun together...my mind is clear...my thoughts are on Him...I am content. Lord, in an hour if Blue's Clues is playing in the background....my house is all messed up...chaos is the tone of my house...and my thoughts are on the worries of this life...Let me learn to be content then too.
Thank you all for listening to my random thoughts. I will continue with my story tomorrow...Lord, willing.
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