My Story - Part 19

I am so sorry about being MIA. My husband has taken an XBOX fast so we have been hangin' out at night when I would normally blog. He had a late soccer game tonight so I am going to blog away :)

After I got back from LA my friend Jessica came and picked me up. We packed all we could into her car and headed to OKC. I started working at an insurance company with her right away and attending church with her. The church that she attended was charismatic which was very different from my Baptist experience. I loved the worship and the freedom to worship demonstratively. I went to a small home group with her too. I loved the people there.

I quickly learned things like reciting verses over and over and "claiming" them. I learned it was not OK to say that you were sick because it showed a lack of faith. I also learned that God wanted you to have material things so if you wanted something materially you simply believed in faith that God would give it to you and it would come to pass. I also learned anyone could have the gift of tongues by a church leader laying hands on you and imparting the gift to you. I was taught that after you recieved the gift of tongues you should "pray in the spirit" for at least an hour a day to build up your inner man. I also learned that I was a little god and had all the same powers as Christ and was lacking in faith if I did not exercise them regularly at will.

Now keep in mind that up until now I had little church experience...who was I to question what was biblical and what wasn't. What I later realized is that the "word faith" doctrine was being heavily taught and practiced in this particular church. It was very law like. It robbed me personally of a great deal of the relationship part of what God and I had together. I traded relationship for law. Instead of praying in a language I could understand every morning...I started praying in a language I obviously made up because I know now that I do not posses the gift of tongues. (I do believe some people have this gift but that it is given by God and not man.) Instead of pouring out my concerns to God I started claiming I didn't have them in His name. Instead of accepting rides from my friend Jessica thankfully as God's provision for me...I claimed a new car in God's name and tried to buy one on credit when I was financially unstable. Instead of reading books by authors that wrote humbly about how to love and serve God, I started reading books about how to be a little god myself. Instead of reading the bible in context chapter by chapter I started plucking verses out and quoting them over and over claiming God's material blessing and perfect health for my life. I also learned that I needed to rebuke the devil A LOT to keep Him out of my life. I learned that you needed to have deliverance from demons all the way from those behind eating sugar to those behind you being bitter. You needed to do this to be set free so you wouldn't stay in bondage. I inadvertently began giving Satan the focus that I once gave God.

I wanted so badly to live a holy life...to honor Him...and so I watched everyone at church and did what they did. Because I wanted this so much...it appealed to my flesh to be showy and boastful and authoritive.

It quickly began to fail me and instead of having a broken spirit before God I was prideful and puffed up. It all felt wrong. I wanted what I had at first...and God quickly lead me out.

My friend Jessica has the biggest heart to help people than anyone I have ever met. God used her to rescue me and she played a key part in what God did during that season of my life. She was committed to me and helped me to the degree that she could. Her motives were precious and her intentions pure. I am so thankful for her. I met some other sweet ladies that loved on me and prayed for me and I am thankful for them too.

Since that time I have studied the bible verse by verse for years and have come to realize how detrimental the word faith doctrine is. It is my opinion that when the bible warns us about false teachers in various places by various authors...the teachers of the woed faith teaching would be included in that warning. The primary reason is that it robs you of relationship with Him in many ways. It makes you god and gives you the appearance of control instead. It places us on the throne instead of at His feet which is our only rightful place.

I greatly desire unity within the body of Christ. However, sacrificing Truth and sweeping false doctrine or lies under the rug will not bring unity. There are so many things in scripture that we can peacefully agree to disagree on...this one is a deal breaker for me. I believe it is twisting and misrepresenting scripture and it is dangerous. Anything that takes us away from relationship with Him brings bondage....His Truth is the only thing that brings freedom and sets us free.

My heart breaks for those that are deeply entrenched in this type of teaching. I also have a holy frustration for those teaching it as Truth.

Send all hate mail to shannacrawford@hotmail.com :)

In the next posts I will talk about the family who took me in...the women's group that became part of my spiritual ICU and when I met my precious husband.