I don't even have words to describe how all of my buried emotions came forth...but come forth they did...and it wasn't pretty. Even before Jerome actually proposed to me I had a few fits of anger that ended in my sobbing.
Jerome, Christie, Derek and I all went to Texas for the weekend so Jerome could meet my mom. (I had no relationship with my dad at this point). When we got there she was in jail from a domestic dispute with her boyfriend the night before.
Once she got out of jail the weekend around my mom brought up such turmoil that I barely spoke to Jerome. I shut down and shut him out. I went for a walk alone
the last night we were there. I basically asked God if Jerome wasn't going to ask me to marry him would he please remove him from my life. I didn't want to let anyone in if I knew they were just going to leave somewhere down the road.
I did not talk to Jerome the whole way from Texas back to Oklahoma. Again...I am not a psychologist so I can not tell you why I responded the way I did to all the years of supressed emotions...but Jerome was getting the brunt of it.
Once we got to Oklahoma City Jerome asked if I minded Derek dropping us off at his car so he could drive me to Edmond and we could talk...I agreed.
On mine and Jerome's way to Edmond he stopped at Lake Hefner. It was a cool evening and very windy. The night before while I was having my chat with God...so was Jerome. Jerome read the scriptures of Jesus walking out to his disciples' boat during a storm. God showed him that he was to ask me to marry him in the middle of my emotional storm. When I didn't speak to him all the way from Texas to Oklahoma he thought he had heard wrong from God :) The weather conditions at the lake reminded him of the scriptures he had read the night before. He shared with me the scriptures and said very sweet and encouraging things to me about Jesus walking out to me in the middle of my storm and embracing me and loving me right where I was at. He then bent on one knee and asked me to marry him. I said yes...and then we kissed for the first time :)
We will have been married 10 years on August 2! Woo-Hoo!!! GO GOD!
I am going to try my very hardest to wrap everything up in the next post. Thank you all for hangin' in there with me!
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14 comments:
I'm crying again, Shanna!!! Love reading this so much!
I LOVE that you guys didn't kiss until proposal!!!
yah! So glad there's a happy ending. It's so enjoyable seeing the process. Your story is inspiring, Shanna :) You and Jerome were brought together by God and it's amazing to see how he had used your marriage as a testament for His love!
Truly Beautiful! God is so amazing!!
Love it! I love it that he asked you to marry him in the middle of your emotional storm. How awesome is that.....Go God! Hooray Jerome!
it is so amazing how God works. :) your story is so inspiring.
I love how fast the right things can happen. Some people think they fall into only bad stuff fast, but God can quickly move you in the right direction when you honor Him and give Him the glory!!
what a whirlwind
Oh Shanna! I am loving your story! I am reading everytime you post a new piece. My girls the other day had heard that Mr. Jerome used to be a drug dealer. It was the funniest conversation ever. But it was also so enlightening for Aisling. It gave her a lot of freedom in knowing you can screw up and God wills till forgive you. She is dealing with her perfectionism these days. (I have no idea where she gets it from ;) )Love you!
sniff, sniff. I love this part! Hopefully, I will see you tomorrow.
I'm so glad Jerome listened to God! What a sweet story.
Shanna, this part of your story is soooo precious ... i feel CERTAIN that so many of us in various ways can really identify with shutting down and our walls going up on the one we love the most in this world. From an earthly sense they can be the safest place one moment and then in an instant they can become the most vulnerable scary place. How i praise God for enabling these precious men to persevere and try to live with us in an understanding way. What a HUGE life-changing difference it makes to have a man who is committed to following after the very heart of God ... He is our One True Refuge. When they reflect Him ... what blessing and healing it provides for us. I am grateful that the Lord has gifted you with Jerome ... and let's just be honest ... he got himself quite a lady too!!!! Love you! Paula
Your story is amazing, your faith is amazing, your love for God is amazing. Thank you for sharing and allowing us to see God's love! On this side of heaven you will never know the impact you have had on me. Thank you
shorty
I have heard your story before and this part is my FAVORITE:) God always BLESSES an obedient man!!
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