Stirrings of My Heart...

These are all the things that have been stirring around in my heart and head the last few weeks. I believe He has been using my circumstances, experiences and emotions to teach me more about who He is and about my weaknesses and insecurities, so He could bring victory in those areas of struggle through the power of His Spirit at work in me.

He showed me that He alone wants all of the glory and this is also for our highest good!

I am to make Him my consuming focus at all times. I have to choose this moment by moment no matter how I feel.

I must seek Him every day. I can not expect to store manna for even 2 days. I must daily feed from His hand.

I can not fall into the trap of looking at my circumstances or trying to figure things out on my own. I can not make my own strength my God.

I have to be dedicated to doing His will no matter what is going on around me or inside of me.

It is good to worship Him when I don't feel like it. It is good to worship Him when I am not greatly moved, it doesn't make me a hypocrite, it is part of my obedience to Him. It is good to read His word and spend time with Him even when I don't 'feel' His Presence. Fruit will come from these times later.

He alone is my Reward! I must fight to maintain an intimate, growing relationship with Him. I must fight to keep the things I love the most from becoming idols in my heart (to the point of being elevated in admiration or affection above Christ).

Just like manna was a good thing that came from God's hand to nourish the Israelites, when they tried to take more of it than He commanded, that good thing would rot because they had made it an idol and were trying to hoard it out of fear. I too have to keep the good things God has given me in their proper place in my heart and not make them idols so they will be nourishment for my soul and not idolatry. May He take me deeper in this area!!!!

I must cast ALL my anxieties on Him and trust Him at all times, nothing matters near as much as focusing completely on who He is.

I DO NOT WANT TO CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT ME, OR WHAT I 'THINK' PEOPLE THINK ABOUT ME :) I want to live to please Him and Him alone!!! UGH, this is a biggy! I have not struggled as greatly with this like I have the last few weeks. And I really think most of the struggle has been in my head, yet still making it a reality to me.

I want to know Him more, love Him more deeply, experience more of His Presence and glorify Him with every relationship He has put in my life. I want to keep Him as my highest Treasure. I want to be used by Him in the ways He chooses, not the ways I choose. I want to have confidence because I am full of faith in Him and not shrink back out of fear or insecurity. I want to be a better wife, mom, friend, etc. because I am pressing into Him more and not because I am 'trying' harder in my own strength. I want to be more aware of His great love for me and humanity!!! I want to have pure motives and a right heart. I want to TRULY walk in His ways and not slip into auto-pilot mode. I want to be dependent on Him every second of every day! I want to lift high HIS name while bowing down low at His feet and dying to my self.