Thursday evening Jerome took the boys to the gym. I decided to use my few hours of quiet time to catch up on my blog reading. I read a post by Beth Moore. She wrote a letter to her 4 year old grand son on his birthday. I just sat at the computer and cried. As I asked the Lord why the tears? I felt as if I was weeping for the years that are passing so quickly...for the way God has used each of our boys to draw me near...for the joys and sorrows of being a mom...for the ways I fall short. I long to love them more deeply so they might know His love and share it with the world years after I am gone. I pray they would know His perfect, unending love through my imperfect, human love so they would pour it out into the lives of others. I do not want to be distracted from this highly important calling! My tears were tears of sorrow mingled with joy.
I woke up in the middle of the night. I decided to read the latest updates from Matt Chandler. In a world full of pain I am drawn to those who suffer well. He is one of those people for me. I think we have so much to learn from those who focus on Him in the midst of their trials...using them for His glory and the benefit of others.
Certain that God woke me up to speak something to my heart, I was determinded not to go back to bed until I took in all He wanted to show me. I had heard the buzz about Francis Chan's new book Crazy Love. I searched for him on you tube. I ended up intrigued by a 45 minute sermon unlike those I had heart any pastor here in America preach. I wondered how he had any members in his congregation. The truth of His message was strong, convicting and cut to the core. It didn't seem like one that many would return to hear. It was not sandwhiched in between flowery words of encouragement. I needed to hear what he had to say. As my heart disected his words I reluctantly took it in.
All of this combined with my crying session at the computer earlier that evening left me at this place....
I wished I had accepted Him before I was 21. I even wish I would have used the last 13 years more effectively for His kingdom. While I felt sorrow for not lifting up His name higher and sooner, I also felt the grace of Him working all things together for good!
Regret was replaced with a sense of urgency. The reality is that if I live a long life with good health, I have maybe 30 or 40 more years. My life could be half over right now. I do not want to waste a single year, month, day or minute on living for myself.
HE IS THE POINT.
There are people dying spiritually all over my own country. I have the anti-dote to spiritual death alive on the inside of me. I want my life to be wholly devoted to lifting Him up so others might live. I want to learn His ways and walk in them. I want to care more about others than I care about myself. My life was not given to me for me. I have all of eternity to live in bliss, free from pain and sorrow...so why do I waste an ounce of effort here on this earth trying to shield myself from pain or chase after comfort.
I do not want to be luke warm.
I do not want to be spit out of the mouth of God.
I do not want to make my church, my community, my kids, my family, my financial status (good or bad), my ministry, or anything else my idol.
I want to lift up His name alone. He is the only way to life. He is the only Answer for all those who need Him desperately. He is the only Answer for me.
I am one life. But may my life be one that glorifies Him. May I invest all the days He has given me on this earth into people so His name will be lifted High generations after I am gone. May I pour Him into the lives of our children, and anyone else who is close enough to have His life spill over from my life into theirs.
I am asking Him like Moses did, to teach me to number my days. I am also asking Him to help me not waste a single one of them. Our life is a midst and a vapor, yet it can be a mighty tool in the hand of our God. We are but dust, yet through Him we can be used to make an eternal difference. Join me as we cast aside all that entangles us and run the race set before us...knowing He is our Prize, our great Reward!
Psalm 90
BOOK IV : Psalms 90-106
A prayer of Moses the man of God.
1 Lord, you have been our dwelling place
throughout all generations.
2 Before the mountains were born
or you brought forth the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.
3 You turn men back to dust,
saying, "Return to dust, O sons of men."
4 For a thousand years in your sight
are like a day that has just gone by,
or like a watch in the night.
5 You sweep men away in the sleep of death;
they are like the new grass of the morning-
6 though in the morning it springs up new,
by evening it is dry and withered.
7 We are consumed by your anger
and terrified by your indignation.
8 You have set our iniquities before you,
our secret sins in the light of your presence.
9 All our days pass away under your wrath;
we finish our years with a moan.
10 The length of our days is seventy years—
or eighty, if we have the strength;
yet their span [a] is but trouble and sorrow,
for they quickly pass, and we fly away.
11 Who knows the power of your anger?
For your wrath is as great as the fear that is due you.
12 Teach us to number our days aright,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
13 Relent, O LORD! How long will it be?
Have compassion on your servants.
14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
for as many years as we have seen trouble.
16 May your deeds be shown to your servants,
your splendor to their children.
17 May the favor [b] of the Lord our God rest upon us;
establish the work of our hands for us—
yes, establish the work of our hands.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
You Have Set My Heart Free
I hesitate in writing these posts some times. I feel I am redundantly writing about the same things over and over with different words. Repeating the same themes some times in a new way. Some times not. But, I feel as if He invites me to revisit the same simple truths again and again because this is where freedom and life are found. Oh how I easy I stray from the narrow path. How often I need to be reminded to return to His ways.
Yesterday was rough. I got stuck in a yucky place emotionally. Anger, sadness, frustration and anxiety were my biggest struggle...though I must say I didn't put up much of a fight. Even at the end of the day I had not been broken. I was quite sick of myself. Jerome was so sweetly staying out of the path of my negative emotions. I caught him holding back a snicker or two at the end of the night. I love that man. He could have put me in my place, but He knows me well enough to know, this too shall pass :)
Well, to my delight I found myself waking up to a bit of relief from myself. The boys stayed the night with grandma so I woke to a still and quiet house. I all but ran to my lil' sanctuary, stopping only long enough to make a cup of coffee. I found at first I had to force myself to seek Him. Sort of going through the motions, you know the way you do when you are not greatly moved. But before I knew it the time was flying by. I came out for another cup of coffee and looked around the house. I thought of all the chores I could get done with the boys gone. Yet I felt a tug pulling me back into the place I set aside to spend time with Him...so I chose Him over the chores. Well, I must say that it was one of my better choices in the last 2 days :) 3 hours later my cup is full. This reminds me of something our friend Brandon said when we were discussing how important it is to seek the Lord first every morning before rushing into our day: The best part of waking up is Jesus in your cup :)
About half way through I was broken and began telling the Lord how sorry I was for my crummy attitude and actions yesterday. I hate it when my sin and selfishness affects those I love the most, my family. I felt as quickly as my repentance came, His grace, mercy and forgiveness came in like a fire consuming my shame. There is something so refreshing about just telling God everything He already knows and truly expressing your sorrow. There is also something holy about begging for His forgiveness, even though you already know He will freely give it. There is something beautiful about desperately asking Him to change you and help you to respond better, differently the next time you are in an intense struggle with your flesh and spirit. There is a strength found in doing these things that is supernatural and simply can't be acquired another way. I am learning more and more how to become undignified before Him. I am learning to not be bothered by adhering to a system or formula, but just prostrating myself before Him however He leads in the moment. This is quite uncomfortable at first, but it is becoming less so with practice. I am even learning to be still and quiet before Him. This is something that is rather difficult for me, yet I am finding most neceassary in our noisy world.
I was trying to decide how to share with all 2 of you who read this just what He has shown me. I have random things scribbled in my journal...verses from various places circled in my bible...profound statements high-lighted in a book that I am reading...and the lyrics from worship songs I have been listening to replaying in my mind.
This is a brief summary of what I am coming away with this morning...well, I suppose now we are moving into the afternoon :)
My satisfaction can only come from Him. My approval can not come from man. Because man should not be who I am serving. My contentment should not come from things, because they will pass away. My significance must not be tied up in my accomplishments, because then I am expecting glory for myself instead of readily reflecting it back to Him. My peace should not be sought through my circumstances because they will always be as shifting sand. Yes, my satisfaction must be in Him and Him alone.
He is the One who satisfies the longings of my soul. He is the only One who's approval I will seek. He is the One I must be serving, even when I am serving Him by serving others. He is the place I will find my contentment. Chasing after things leaves me empty. My significance is found in Him...in who I am in Him and His life lived through me. The most noble achievement I have come about in the flesh does not compare with HIS glory. It is foolish to try and manipulate my circumstances to gain the peace I desire.
Today, by His grace, I am choosing to find ALL of my satisfaction in Him and Him alone. Not in people. Not in what I do for others. Not in my accomplishments. Not in things. Not in my circumstances.
OH THE FREEDOM!
Let me end with these verses. May they speak to your heart they way they speak to mine. May they liberate you they way they have me!
Psalm 119:25-32
25 I am laid low in the dust;
preserve my life according to your word.
26 I recounted my ways and you answered me;
teach me your decrees.
27 Let me understand the teaching of your precepts;
then I will meditate on your wonders.
28 My soul is weary with sorrow;
strengthen me according to your word.
29 Keep me from deceitful ways;
be gracious to me through your law.
30 I have chosen the way of truth;
I have set my heart on your laws.
31 I hold fast to your statutes, O LORD;
do not let me be put to shame.
32 I run in the path of your commands,
for you have set my heart free.
Yesterday was rough. I got stuck in a yucky place emotionally. Anger, sadness, frustration and anxiety were my biggest struggle...though I must say I didn't put up much of a fight. Even at the end of the day I had not been broken. I was quite sick of myself. Jerome was so sweetly staying out of the path of my negative emotions. I caught him holding back a snicker or two at the end of the night. I love that man. He could have put me in my place, but He knows me well enough to know, this too shall pass :)
Well, to my delight I found myself waking up to a bit of relief from myself. The boys stayed the night with grandma so I woke to a still and quiet house. I all but ran to my lil' sanctuary, stopping only long enough to make a cup of coffee. I found at first I had to force myself to seek Him. Sort of going through the motions, you know the way you do when you are not greatly moved. But before I knew it the time was flying by. I came out for another cup of coffee and looked around the house. I thought of all the chores I could get done with the boys gone. Yet I felt a tug pulling me back into the place I set aside to spend time with Him...so I chose Him over the chores. Well, I must say that it was one of my better choices in the last 2 days :) 3 hours later my cup is full. This reminds me of something our friend Brandon said when we were discussing how important it is to seek the Lord first every morning before rushing into our day: The best part of waking up is Jesus in your cup :)
About half way through I was broken and began telling the Lord how sorry I was for my crummy attitude and actions yesterday. I hate it when my sin and selfishness affects those I love the most, my family. I felt as quickly as my repentance came, His grace, mercy and forgiveness came in like a fire consuming my shame. There is something so refreshing about just telling God everything He already knows and truly expressing your sorrow. There is also something holy about begging for His forgiveness, even though you already know He will freely give it. There is something beautiful about desperately asking Him to change you and help you to respond better, differently the next time you are in an intense struggle with your flesh and spirit. There is a strength found in doing these things that is supernatural and simply can't be acquired another way. I am learning more and more how to become undignified before Him. I am learning to not be bothered by adhering to a system or formula, but just prostrating myself before Him however He leads in the moment. This is quite uncomfortable at first, but it is becoming less so with practice. I am even learning to be still and quiet before Him. This is something that is rather difficult for me, yet I am finding most neceassary in our noisy world.
I was trying to decide how to share with all 2 of you who read this just what He has shown me. I have random things scribbled in my journal...verses from various places circled in my bible...profound statements high-lighted in a book that I am reading...and the lyrics from worship songs I have been listening to replaying in my mind.
This is a brief summary of what I am coming away with this morning...well, I suppose now we are moving into the afternoon :)
My satisfaction can only come from Him. My approval can not come from man. Because man should not be who I am serving. My contentment should not come from things, because they will pass away. My significance must not be tied up in my accomplishments, because then I am expecting glory for myself instead of readily reflecting it back to Him. My peace should not be sought through my circumstances because they will always be as shifting sand. Yes, my satisfaction must be in Him and Him alone.
He is the One who satisfies the longings of my soul. He is the only One who's approval I will seek. He is the One I must be serving, even when I am serving Him by serving others. He is the place I will find my contentment. Chasing after things leaves me empty. My significance is found in Him...in who I am in Him and His life lived through me. The most noble achievement I have come about in the flesh does not compare with HIS glory. It is foolish to try and manipulate my circumstances to gain the peace I desire.
Today, by His grace, I am choosing to find ALL of my satisfaction in Him and Him alone. Not in people. Not in what I do for others. Not in my accomplishments. Not in things. Not in my circumstances.
OH THE FREEDOM!
Let me end with these verses. May they speak to your heart they way they speak to mine. May they liberate you they way they have me!
Psalm 119:25-32
25 I am laid low in the dust;
preserve my life according to your word.
26 I recounted my ways and you answered me;
teach me your decrees.
27 Let me understand the teaching of your precepts;
then I will meditate on your wonders.
28 My soul is weary with sorrow;
strengthen me according to your word.
29 Keep me from deceitful ways;
be gracious to me through your law.
30 I have chosen the way of truth;
I have set my heart on your laws.
31 I hold fast to your statutes, O LORD;
do not let me be put to shame.
32 I run in the path of your commands,
for you have set my heart free.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Where deep, lasting joy is found...
The last few days I have really struggled in my emotions because of a trial I have been walking through with someone I love deeply. Negative emotions like anger and sadness have threatened to dominate me. I have struggled to submit my thoughts to Christ regardless of what my emotions are. I have struggled to be still and quiet.
Yesterday joy came in like a crashing wave! On my way home from church I was driving in silence. As my thoughts focused on Christ and all He is doing in the lives of so many around me I thought I might explode with jubilation :) It was welcomed and unexpected. You see, yesterday I was in church with my brother and sister-in-love, my uncle, my mom and her husband, my sweet friends Amy and Crystal and of course my amazing husband. I was thinking about just those few people alone...how their lives have been changed, some radically and over years...some who are just starting to really respond to His pursuit of them. I thought of all the years of prayer for my family and how I see Christ producing fruit in their lives now. The pain of the years when I prayed and didn't see 'results' in the lives of my loved ones faded away knowing they are seeking Him now. This reminds me of something I read during my Treasure Time Saturday morning:
Habakkuk 3:16-19
16 I heard and my heart pounded,
my lips quivered at the sound;
decay crept into my bones,
and my legs trembled.
Yet I will wait patiently for the day of calamity
to come on the nation invading us.
17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights. For the director of music.
Oh and the day just got better. It was the 2nd week of Jerome and I's new bible study. While Jerome was at Crest he ran into someone we met last week at church and invited him. He came. My uncle (who I have been secretly praying to come because I love him so stinkin' much) surprised me and came. With each person who walked through the front door I became more and more joyful! You see, these people, some single, some married, some new Christians, some seasoned Christians, some just coming back to God, some who have a church home, some who don't, were coming to our house to have fellowship, to learn and discuss God's word, to laugh, to eat, to pray...in our home with us!!! WHO ARE WE to get such an honor as to be a host for the fellowship of our sweet Saviour?
It just doesn't get any better than this. It really doesn't. Let me remind you, I was a stripper for years. I was strung out on drugs. I was addicted to men and bad relationships. I was living life for my own selfish pleasures. Even though my choices left me miserable I would not yield my life to Him. My husband sold drugs and got high every day. He hung out with robbers and death metal thrashers who sang their praises to Satan. He used his influence to keep people in their cycles of sin. He did not want to trade these things for freedom.
And then we both finally made the choice. We chose Him, because after all, He chose us. And our lives have never, ever been the same.
And now, the God of the universe has made his home in the heart of the ex-drug dealer and the ex-stripper. We have had the JOY of pouring into the lives of others what He has poured into us.
Psalm 115:1
1 Not to us, O LORD, not to us
but to your name be the glory,
because of your love and faithfulness.
So as each person walked through the door I marveled at how He drew them. Not to our home, but to Himself. Some of these people, I knew their stories intimately. I knew their struggles against sin, their painful trials, their tenacious pursuit of the living God. Some I did not know much at all about, but I wanted to. I wanted to hear where they were at with the Lord, where they wanted to go with Him. I knew for them to come to our house last night meant they were seeking Him on some level and this alone gave me encouragement.
Not everyone will come back. Not everyone will seek God with their whole heart. Not everyone will choose Him. Not everyone will make Him their joy.
BUT I WILL.
And I hope the joy He has poured into my life will spill over onto anyone who comes near me. And I hope those who are willing and ready to make the daily choice to seek Him will somehow be encouraged, sharpened, and spurred on by Jerome and I's lives. I even hope some will be offended by the undignified and lavish way we love Him, worship Him and live for Him. If not, we are not living fully enough for the glory of God.
I am more fired up than ever to live life full throttle for Christ. There are so many people who need to see a real, authentic love for a real, authentic God. May I be one of those people. Even if I look around and see only a few standing with me. May I still continue to stand. If even one person is drawn near to Him because of His work in my life, one person, it will all be worth it.
I know to live for Him will mean I am rejected by many. I will have to choose to do what is right, trusting that His ways are higher than mine. I will struggle against the unseen sin in my heart. I will have to fix my eyes on Him and not on the things of this earth. I will hurt more deeply for other people. I will have to make my will a slave to His. I will be ridiculed for my standard of righteousness. I will have to reject the world's systems. I will be persecuted. I will have to learn to seek His counsel, coveting His words above anyone else's. I will be despised and misunderstood. I will have to take on His yoke and learn from Him. I will be lonely at times. I will have to say no to the desires of my flesh. Yes, to follow Him means I will suffer on many spiritual, physical and emotional levels. Oh but the privlage of sharing in His sufferings.
I also know that I will have purpose. I will be used by Him. I will experience His power in my weakness. I will share in His inheritance. I will walk in His freedom. I will be satisfied in Him. I will be loved by Him. I will become more like Him. I will reap a harvest at the proper time if I do not give up. I will find deep joy in in the cross, and with Him I will scorn its shame!
Hebrew 12:1-3
1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
He is worth it. He is definitely worth it!
At the end of my days how I long for Him to have been glorified through my life. How I long to have spent each day living fully for Him so others might fully live!
May I be the one leper that returned to my Healer and thanked Him. I remember who I was when He called me. I remember. I owe Him my entire life. He deserves all of my heart. Every last part of it!
And this I have discovered is where deep, lasting joy is found!
Yesterday joy came in like a crashing wave! On my way home from church I was driving in silence. As my thoughts focused on Christ and all He is doing in the lives of so many around me I thought I might explode with jubilation :) It was welcomed and unexpected. You see, yesterday I was in church with my brother and sister-in-love, my uncle, my mom and her husband, my sweet friends Amy and Crystal and of course my amazing husband. I was thinking about just those few people alone...how their lives have been changed, some radically and over years...some who are just starting to really respond to His pursuit of them. I thought of all the years of prayer for my family and how I see Christ producing fruit in their lives now. The pain of the years when I prayed and didn't see 'results' in the lives of my loved ones faded away knowing they are seeking Him now. This reminds me of something I read during my Treasure Time Saturday morning:
Habakkuk 3:16-19
16 I heard and my heart pounded,
my lips quivered at the sound;
decay crept into my bones,
and my legs trembled.
Yet I will wait patiently for the day of calamity
to come on the nation invading us.
17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights. For the director of music.
Oh and the day just got better. It was the 2nd week of Jerome and I's new bible study. While Jerome was at Crest he ran into someone we met last week at church and invited him. He came. My uncle (who I have been secretly praying to come because I love him so stinkin' much) surprised me and came. With each person who walked through the front door I became more and more joyful! You see, these people, some single, some married, some new Christians, some seasoned Christians, some just coming back to God, some who have a church home, some who don't, were coming to our house to have fellowship, to learn and discuss God's word, to laugh, to eat, to pray...in our home with us!!! WHO ARE WE to get such an honor as to be a host for the fellowship of our sweet Saviour?
It just doesn't get any better than this. It really doesn't. Let me remind you, I was a stripper for years. I was strung out on drugs. I was addicted to men and bad relationships. I was living life for my own selfish pleasures. Even though my choices left me miserable I would not yield my life to Him. My husband sold drugs and got high every day. He hung out with robbers and death metal thrashers who sang their praises to Satan. He used his influence to keep people in their cycles of sin. He did not want to trade these things for freedom.
And then we both finally made the choice. We chose Him, because after all, He chose us. And our lives have never, ever been the same.
And now, the God of the universe has made his home in the heart of the ex-drug dealer and the ex-stripper. We have had the JOY of pouring into the lives of others what He has poured into us.
Psalm 115:1
1 Not to us, O LORD, not to us
but to your name be the glory,
because of your love and faithfulness.
So as each person walked through the door I marveled at how He drew them. Not to our home, but to Himself. Some of these people, I knew their stories intimately. I knew their struggles against sin, their painful trials, their tenacious pursuit of the living God. Some I did not know much at all about, but I wanted to. I wanted to hear where they were at with the Lord, where they wanted to go with Him. I knew for them to come to our house last night meant they were seeking Him on some level and this alone gave me encouragement.
Not everyone will come back. Not everyone will seek God with their whole heart. Not everyone will choose Him. Not everyone will make Him their joy.
BUT I WILL.
And I hope the joy He has poured into my life will spill over onto anyone who comes near me. And I hope those who are willing and ready to make the daily choice to seek Him will somehow be encouraged, sharpened, and spurred on by Jerome and I's lives. I even hope some will be offended by the undignified and lavish way we love Him, worship Him and live for Him. If not, we are not living fully enough for the glory of God.
I am more fired up than ever to live life full throttle for Christ. There are so many people who need to see a real, authentic love for a real, authentic God. May I be one of those people. Even if I look around and see only a few standing with me. May I still continue to stand. If even one person is drawn near to Him because of His work in my life, one person, it will all be worth it.
I know to live for Him will mean I am rejected by many. I will have to choose to do what is right, trusting that His ways are higher than mine. I will struggle against the unseen sin in my heart. I will have to fix my eyes on Him and not on the things of this earth. I will hurt more deeply for other people. I will have to make my will a slave to His. I will be ridiculed for my standard of righteousness. I will have to reject the world's systems. I will be persecuted. I will have to learn to seek His counsel, coveting His words above anyone else's. I will be despised and misunderstood. I will have to take on His yoke and learn from Him. I will be lonely at times. I will have to say no to the desires of my flesh. Yes, to follow Him means I will suffer on many spiritual, physical and emotional levels. Oh but the privlage of sharing in His sufferings.
I also know that I will have purpose. I will be used by Him. I will experience His power in my weakness. I will share in His inheritance. I will walk in His freedom. I will be satisfied in Him. I will be loved by Him. I will become more like Him. I will reap a harvest at the proper time if I do not give up. I will find deep joy in in the cross, and with Him I will scorn its shame!
Hebrew 12:1-3
1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
He is worth it. He is definitely worth it!
At the end of my days how I long for Him to have been glorified through my life. How I long to have spent each day living fully for Him so others might fully live!
May I be the one leper that returned to my Healer and thanked Him. I remember who I was when He called me. I remember. I owe Him my entire life. He deserves all of my heart. Every last part of it!
And this I have discovered is where deep, lasting joy is found!
Thursday, February 18, 2010
HULK SMASH!
Tonight Jerome took the boys to the gym so I could have some quiet time. Homeschooling 3 boys makes for some really NOISY days :)
I decided to just lay in our bed and pray. My thoughts were all over the place. A friend who is hurting in her marriage, another friend who is frustrated in her singleness, a few sweet teenaged girls who are struggling emotionally, a man who has been recently changed by an addiction...and I began to feel a bit overwhelmed. Ifound it difficult to pray at all.
Then I decided to listen to the book of 1 John on my ipod and try to conjure up some 'love' feelings :) My ipod was already on a song called 'Joy Will Come.' I turned up the volume, snuggled in my cozy bed and decided to try to focus on Him. As I concentrated on the lyrics of the song, my mind did focus on Him. As my thoughts changed, my feelings changed. I began to feel hope for those I was burdened for. I was able to pray for them with confidence. Then my mind started flooding with many people who I have recently seen have a surge in their relationship with God which has resulted in more freedom in their lives. I went from feeling anxious to praising Him because of His goodness!
AAWW...it is good to be in the Presence of the Lord. Sometimes we have to choose this. Sometimes I don't choose this. But I am sure glad tonight I did!
My sweet lil' worship session was interrupted by our ADORABLE 5 year old running into our room wearing his HULK costume. Let me add that he has worn it ALL day, including to the park and the grocery store. I said, "Mommy loves you HULK!" Asher said, "HULK doesn't have mommies. HULK doesn't like girls. HULK smashes buildings!"
I mean really, life is so rich and full of the best things!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
OH HOW HE LOVES US!
Last night on the way home from Micah's soccer game we both began singing a song titled 'Oh How He Loves Us' by David Crowder. If you measured our appreciation for God's love by how loudly and off key we were singing...it was a BIG thank you from us to Him :)
It got me to thinking. God's love is what has changed my life. As I have focused on Him, His Love has overtaken many areas of my life. But how often do I really focus on His love FOR ME. I am usually recounting all the ways I missed the mark at the end of my day...frustrated with my sin and the sin of others. But, last night as I sang out a declaration of God's love for me, not my love for God, I was overwhelmed with gratefulness. I felt free. I felt this sense of pride that I am a child of the Creator of everyhting. This was mingled with humility that He lavishes love on me so generously. He wants me, others, to KNOW this love. And not just know about His love but instead to know the FULLNESS of His love. I thought of this verse:
Ephesians 3:17-19
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
These verses imply that to be filled with the FULLNESS of God, I have to somehow know this love that surpasses knowledge. I can not just know it with my mind. I would guess that He is wanting me to know His love with all my heart, mind, soul and strength in the same way that I am called to love Him. He is wanting me to know His love in a way that permeates every part of me, and then pour that love right back out into my relationship with Him and others.
I love that He always simplifies things for me. I seem to make things way too complicated.
By His grace I have been able to know this love in increasing measure by pursuing Him with great tenacity, particularly the last few years. Unlike normal relationships that fade in passion over time...ours has become more beautiful and romantic. He has chosen to love me, and I too have chosen to love Him. I have set aside time to spend with Him most every day. I have realized that by investing in my relationship with my precious Lord, I am investing in every person's life connected to mine. In many ways I am even investing His love into future generations. As I have chosen to be in love with Him, even when the feelings evade me, I have been changed by Him in the most mysterious ways. I am not the same person I was 10 years ago or even yesterday.
I have recently had a few things happen that normally would be emotional triggers for me. I would typically go into a bit of an emotional tail spin, seek God through the chaos of my feelings and then after crying in my closet for a few hours or days be settled under the shadow of His wing. Well, to my surprise, this did not happen. The emotions came in like a tide and then just as quickly drifted back. I was able to count the trial joy. I was able to bring my thoughts into captivity. I was able to look at the bigger picture. I was able to surrender those people and situations into the hands of God with abandon. I was able to trust Him realizing it was not for me to be squished under the weight of, but to cast it on the Lord. All of this, I believe was the result of me spending so much time with Him recently...choosing to focus on my love for Him and His love for me. This simple principal brought about all of these big victories!
He is the Answer to every problem I have. He is the Answer to every problem those I know have. There is no special formula or system that will bring lasting freedom. If there were we would make that system our God.
Many of the people in my life recently have been asking me some really tough questions. I have found that the only Answer I have is to seek Him, with everything. Nothing else will do. Whatever energy we may using on other things, stop and use that energy to know Him more.
To know Him more is to love Him more. To love Him more is to love our sin less. To love our sin less is to walk in more freedom. So simple. So difficult. It requires us to choose Him. Every day. Every minute. Every second. It requires us to set aside everything else we know and love and make Him the pearl of great cost.
I don't know how it works. But I know it works. My life is living proof.
I am more fired up to hold Him out to the world.
May my message always be to others....Christ is all! If I really love others more than I love myself then I will share this message with them. May I lift Him up so others will see Him, know Him and love Him...
...Because OH HOW HE LOVES US!
It got me to thinking. God's love is what has changed my life. As I have focused on Him, His Love has overtaken many areas of my life. But how often do I really focus on His love FOR ME. I am usually recounting all the ways I missed the mark at the end of my day...frustrated with my sin and the sin of others. But, last night as I sang out a declaration of God's love for me, not my love for God, I was overwhelmed with gratefulness. I felt free. I felt this sense of pride that I am a child of the Creator of everyhting. This was mingled with humility that He lavishes love on me so generously. He wants me, others, to KNOW this love. And not just know about His love but instead to know the FULLNESS of His love. I thought of this verse:
Ephesians 3:17-19
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
These verses imply that to be filled with the FULLNESS of God, I have to somehow know this love that surpasses knowledge. I can not just know it with my mind. I would guess that He is wanting me to know His love with all my heart, mind, soul and strength in the same way that I am called to love Him. He is wanting me to know His love in a way that permeates every part of me, and then pour that love right back out into my relationship with Him and others.
I love that He always simplifies things for me. I seem to make things way too complicated.
By His grace I have been able to know this love in increasing measure by pursuing Him with great tenacity, particularly the last few years. Unlike normal relationships that fade in passion over time...ours has become more beautiful and romantic. He has chosen to love me, and I too have chosen to love Him. I have set aside time to spend with Him most every day. I have realized that by investing in my relationship with my precious Lord, I am investing in every person's life connected to mine. In many ways I am even investing His love into future generations. As I have chosen to be in love with Him, even when the feelings evade me, I have been changed by Him in the most mysterious ways. I am not the same person I was 10 years ago or even yesterday.
I have recently had a few things happen that normally would be emotional triggers for me. I would typically go into a bit of an emotional tail spin, seek God through the chaos of my feelings and then after crying in my closet for a few hours or days be settled under the shadow of His wing. Well, to my surprise, this did not happen. The emotions came in like a tide and then just as quickly drifted back. I was able to count the trial joy. I was able to bring my thoughts into captivity. I was able to look at the bigger picture. I was able to surrender those people and situations into the hands of God with abandon. I was able to trust Him realizing it was not for me to be squished under the weight of, but to cast it on the Lord. All of this, I believe was the result of me spending so much time with Him recently...choosing to focus on my love for Him and His love for me. This simple principal brought about all of these big victories!
He is the Answer to every problem I have. He is the Answer to every problem those I know have. There is no special formula or system that will bring lasting freedom. If there were we would make that system our God.
Many of the people in my life recently have been asking me some really tough questions. I have found that the only Answer I have is to seek Him, with everything. Nothing else will do. Whatever energy we may using on other things, stop and use that energy to know Him more.
To know Him more is to love Him more. To love Him more is to love our sin less. To love our sin less is to walk in more freedom. So simple. So difficult. It requires us to choose Him. Every day. Every minute. Every second. It requires us to set aside everything else we know and love and make Him the pearl of great cost.
I don't know how it works. But I know it works. My life is living proof.
I am more fired up to hold Him out to the world.
May my message always be to others....Christ is all! If I really love others more than I love myself then I will share this message with them. May I lift Him up so others will see Him, know Him and love Him...
...Because OH HOW HE LOVES US!
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