Sunday, July 7, 2013

Gladly Boasting About My Weaknesses


Let me start by saying that God is so gracious to prepare us for trials and sufferings even before they come.  That is why it is so important to stay connected to a body of believers thru a local church.  His Word says to encourage one another daily so that our hearts are not hardened by sin's deceitfulness.  It is also just as important to spend personal time in His Word and in His Presence to prepare for the opposition that WILL come if you are seeking to do His will. He often leads me to scriptures and messages as a way to speak to my heart to prepare me before a battle begins.  This gives me great courage to fight thru it trusting that if He loved me enough to prepare me He will fight for me as well.  The last sermon series at my church was focused on welcoming failures, trials and persecution as a sign of being in His will as well as rejoicing in sufferings of all kinds as a way of refining us.  These sermons had a theme woven in of thanking God for trying things in ministry and failing and then learning thru our failures instead of not trying at all because we were afraid to fail.  My husband, me and one of our very best friends, Shana Rutz are the co-founders of a non-profit ministry, KOMEO.  Our ministry's focus is taking care of orphans, widows, the poor and needy in Sierra Leone, Africa as a way to further the gospel in this muslim nation.  We have experienced MUCH persecution and many failures as our organization is young, understaffed and going thru growing pains.  Keep this context in mind as you read this post.  

After days of intense pre-Africa warfare (and all the team members are suffering thru this right along side of us) I wake up to yet one more reminder of my clear inability and evident weakness. I dropped to my knees, prayed right there beside my bed, begged God for the strength to boast in my weakness because I could only do what He empowers me to. I Got up, came out side to my porch, pulled up the bible app and what was the verse of the day you ask?

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV)

I LAUGHED OUT LOUD!!!!

So let me do a little glad-boasting about my weaknesses...

I'm laughing at the days to come! The God who cares FAR MORE than me about orphans being fed and having spiritual parents, children wandering from shelter to shelter and house to house instead of being placed in families, the widow being taken care of and her prayerful desires granted, a team of people visiting a Muslim nation to hold out Christ who is the Hope of their country, clean water given to villages who against all hope choose to believe in the Hope of Living Water,  me being a faithful wife and caring mom, my life being holy and transparent with all my weaknesses and inabilities brought daily before Him...HE IS THE GOD who moves mountains for those who believe He can, who acts in behalf of the One who waits on Him, who uses and lets those created from dust boast in their weaknesses, who works all things together for good (including our failures) for those who love Him, who gives us the ability to rejoice in persecution, who is a mighty warrior fighting the battles He's in listed us in as we stand still in His Presence, who is our one Defense against every false assumption or accusation. 

Why do I worry as though something strange were happening to me? Why do I expect that He wants me to be perfect when He, the Perfect One died so I didn't have to be? Can't I look at my life and reason that as time goes on I am putting His Word into practice more and more and rejoice in this? Surely I can look and see that giving away half of my income for the orphan to be cared in a foreign land as well as the gospel going forth in my local church, opening up my home week after week so disciples of all ages and social statuses can be made as an Acts community is formed, having my doors open to the wanderer who needs a place to rest for awhile, adopting fatherless children into my forever family, teaching my children who Christ is and what His ways are like, spending time daily in His Presence worshipping, memorizing, meditating on His Word and crying out for the things I see in Scripture that matter most to His heart, getting on my face in my closet just big enough to lay prostrate before Him and weep over my sin and disobedience as He reveals it to me.  Surely THIS IS WHAT MATTERS most to Him.  Not my perfection.  Surely what matters is seeking Him with all my heart then putting into practice the command to lose my life for His sake the best way I know how with whatever strength and ability He gives.  Surely what matters most is fighting to follow with all my fears and failures ever before me, pushing them aside with all His strength that works so powerfully within me.  Surely what matters most is not the opinion of man or how successful my ministry is in the Christian community or how brilliant my children are in the homeschool circles or how caught up I am on my laundry and how well planned out my meals are for the week or how many followers I have for my blog and how many likes I get on my facebook posts.

He is doing something in me.  Something deep and wonderful and freeing.  I am being refined thru my trials, thru persecution, thru every failure I am getting back up again, thru every accusation I am becoming more embolden instead of bitter, thru each rejection I am sorrowful in a way that leads to rejoicing, in the times I am misunderstood I am counting it joy because I know that He alone knows the way I take and He is who my conscious needs to be clear before.  I am quicker to recognize my sin and see it as being against Him and grieving over this in a way that cleanses and makes me whole. When I hurt someone I feel an ache deep in my heart over this.  I am realizing what it really means to lose my life for His sake and find it. I have NO POWER to do any of this on my own yet  I feel unstoppable.  I feel embolden. I feel empowered. I feel strong...like I could scale a mountain and leap up to the high places like a gazelle, no longer being Much-Afraid because He has transformed me into Acceptance-With-Joy.  I feel He is taking every deeply ingrained weakness and turning it into a mighty strength for His glory as He alone is working holiness in my heart. Only Jesus Christ crucified and raised to life alive inside of me could bring me, the chief of all sinners (so I feel) to this place.  And my mind can't even conceive the places He has yet to take me.  I know His Word promises to take us from faith to faith and glory to glory. And ALL HIS PROMISES ARE TRUSTWORTHY AND TRUE!  WOW....His love and power are beyond my comprehension.

I am watching daily for Him, waiting expectantly for Him to take me deeper still despite me being crippled and unable to follow after Him unless He empowers me.  Yet I know He will.  He is my faithful God whom I can place all of my trust in.  He has called me to far too much on purpose so I might never boast in my own strength and ability but only boast in my weakness because it is then that His power will rest upon me.

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