A Life of Worship

It has been 11 years since I gave my life to Christ. Sometimes I feel as if I am dreaming. He really came in and rescued me. He is still rescuing me...mostly from myself.

I can not fathom the love that He has for me. I know it to be true...my life is evidence. Yet I cannot fully wrap my mind around it.

I often wonder how come I am so fanatical about my relationship with Him when some christians seem to take Him or leave Him. It has to be Him that keeps me so close...or I KNOW I would stray. I know that my heart is deceitfully wicked above all things. He is the ONLY good thing that dwells in me.

Each year my love for Him grows stronger, runs deeper. I am drawn in more. I am changed more in my thinking...in my doing. I find that my will lines up more and more with His. My heart beats more in tune with His heart.

I swerve in and out of His will...and yet there is this wonderful margin of grace. I go thru seasons of not "feeling" in love with Him...and seasons where I "feel" so in love with Him my heart could burst. (I am in one of those seasons now).

Sometimes I feel as if He allows me to get a glimpse of what He has done in and thru me... and I can not take it all in. It leaves me overwhelmed...humbled...face down. I am so afraid of ever thinking any noble thing in my life is my own accomplishment. I want more than anything to go lower and lower so He can be lifted up in my life. I do not want to intentionally or unintentionally claim any of His glory for myself...ever.

I really want to be a living sacrifice. I do! I know I can only desire this because of His Spirit prompting me.

I want to live a life of worship. I do not want worship to just be the 30 minutes I sing to Him in the mornings. I want worship to be loving my husband and kids...reaching out to the poor and needy...encouraging my brothers and sisters in Christ...doing the things He is calling me to do with joy!

I want my life to inspire others to be near to Him...so near that they can hear and feel the beat of His heart. This is where we all really long to be and where He wants us. I have so far to go. I can only see in part.

Lord, give me the grace to spend my entire life loving You and allowing You to love others thru me...