was this Christmas!
We have rental properties in Oklahoma City. We have had some renters for 2 years that Jerome first and now I have developed a heart for. They are Henry & Jodi Wintersmith. They have a 4 year old little girl named Ashley, a 2 year old little girl named Mary and an 8 month old baby named Conner. Conner is very sick. He is on a waiting list for a new liver and has already had several surgeries. He is only 12 pounds and has not gained a single ounce since he was 3 months old.
Henry has not been able to hold down a job because they are in and out of the hospital and doctors' visits for Conner.
They are a quiet and humble couple.
Our boys go with Jerome to collect rent sometimes and play with their girls. We have prayed several times with the boys for Conner. They know that "Daddy talks to their family about Jesus."
My friends, our little homeschool group and another life group at Life Church adopted them for Christmas. We had a "Happy Birthday Jesus Party" and the Wintersmiths came.
Our boys have heard us talk about them lots this holiday season. We let them do extra chores to earn money to put towards their gifts. We talked about how Christmas is really about giving to others in His name.
We had this sweet family over for Christmas dinner. It was so much fun to watch their girls open a few gifts we got them from us personally. It was precious to all eat together like one big family. It just felt perfect.
I would not have thought it could have got any better until Micah (our almost 8 year old) surprised me.
Let me pause and tell you that something Micah consistently asked for for Christmas was CASH to buy one of the XBOX games that he had been wanting for awhile. He got $25 in his stocking at mammaw's. He also got $10 from his Nanna. He talked and talked about this $35. He was so happy he had that much CASH and it was enough to buy the game.
He decided to give daddy $10 of it for Christmas which was very sweet.
Here is where he surprised me. Mary and Ashley had just opened the gifts we got them when Micah came up to Jerome and asked if it was OK if he gave some of his money to the Wintersmith family. Jerome thought Micah would give a few dollars. He walked up to Jodi and gave her $20 of the $25 he had left and told her he wanted her to have it for Christmas.
I could cry just writing this.
I don't write this to brag in any way. I am humbled, so humbled that this precious son of mine gets it. He may fight with his brother. He may not obey consistently. He may not know when to quit pestering...but on this Christmas day he loved in action and in truth. He loved in a way that overshadowed everything else. He loved in a way that ministered to, encouraged and taught Jerome and I. I pray that God gave me a glimpse into Micah's heart. I pray that God fosters and develops this in Micah. I pray that when I look at Micah this is what I see on the chaotic days.
One last thing. My husband is a giver in odd ways. I love to give but he loves to give when it is the most uncomfortable. I am certain that Micah did what was modeled for him by his daddy, his hero. This is just one more reason that I am so in love with that man!
Coming soon...mine and Jerome's thoughts on Balaam and his talking donkey :)
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated
A few weeks back we had dinner with our friends Brian and Divina. Part of our dinner conversation included a discussion about the difference between Jacob and Esau.
Why did he love one and hate the other?
On the outside Jacob appeared to be a sneaky swindler...he deceitfully took his brother's birthright and blessing...yet God loved him.
We came to the conclusion that Esau was lukewarm. Jacob wanted God's blessing desperately and would do anything to get it.
The night that Jacob wrestled with the Angel of the Lord (Jesus) until day break...until He touched the socket of His hip...Jacob was broken. He no longer tried to scheme to get God's blessing, he had it and was now aware of his inability to obtain it by his own strength.
Jacob was desperate and broken! This is what God wants most from us.
Esau was comfortable and complacent. This is what God hates.
Jerome and Brian have been best friends for over 10 years. They have ministered to hundreds of people over the years...together. My husband connects with Brian more than I have ever seen him connect with anyone. They have the same silly, juvenile humor :) They love to laugh. They love to worship. They have hearts for the underdogs. They love people. They have a desperate and broken heart before God.
Jerome was a drug dealer until he was 21 years old He was in and out of jail. He got his finger shot off over 10 ounces of cocaine. He had a dysfunctional relationship with his parents. He had no church experience until after he became a christian.
Brian was raised in a baptist church. He became a christian as a young boy. He grew up in the youth group. He was in the choir. He has a precious, godly family.
Jerome and Brian are both Jacobs.
God doesn't require us to be from a screwed up back ground to be desperate and broken. Brian is proof of this. He does however want everything from us no matter what back ground we are from.
We discussed at dinner how many Esaus are in the body of Christ. How many are comfortable and complacent instead of desperate and broken.
If more of us were Jacobs we would see a revival like never before.
I pray that God will allow our boys to go thru whatever necessary for them to be desperate and broken. I pray it doesn't take what it did for Jerome. I pray the path in front of them looks more like Brian's. I pray they have the heart of Jacob whether they grow up in the church or spend a season as a prodigal son.
I pray that God would raise up more and more Jacobs in the body of Christ!
Do you relate more with Jacob or Esau?
Why did he love one and hate the other?
On the outside Jacob appeared to be a sneaky swindler...he deceitfully took his brother's birthright and blessing...yet God loved him.
We came to the conclusion that Esau was lukewarm. Jacob wanted God's blessing desperately and would do anything to get it.
The night that Jacob wrestled with the Angel of the Lord (Jesus) until day break...until He touched the socket of His hip...Jacob was broken. He no longer tried to scheme to get God's blessing, he had it and was now aware of his inability to obtain it by his own strength.
Jacob was desperate and broken! This is what God wants most from us.
Esau was comfortable and complacent. This is what God hates.
Jerome and Brian have been best friends for over 10 years. They have ministered to hundreds of people over the years...together. My husband connects with Brian more than I have ever seen him connect with anyone. They have the same silly, juvenile humor :) They love to laugh. They love to worship. They have hearts for the underdogs. They love people. They have a desperate and broken heart before God.
Jerome was a drug dealer until he was 21 years old He was in and out of jail. He got his finger shot off over 10 ounces of cocaine. He had a dysfunctional relationship with his parents. He had no church experience until after he became a christian.
Brian was raised in a baptist church. He became a christian as a young boy. He grew up in the youth group. He was in the choir. He has a precious, godly family.
Jerome and Brian are both Jacobs.
God doesn't require us to be from a screwed up back ground to be desperate and broken. Brian is proof of this. He does however want everything from us no matter what back ground we are from.
We discussed at dinner how many Esaus are in the body of Christ. How many are comfortable and complacent instead of desperate and broken.
If more of us were Jacobs we would see a revival like never before.
I pray that God will allow our boys to go thru whatever necessary for them to be desperate and broken. I pray it doesn't take what it did for Jerome. I pray the path in front of them looks more like Brian's. I pray they have the heart of Jacob whether they grow up in the church or spend a season as a prodigal son.
I pray that God would raise up more and more Jacobs in the body of Christ!
Do you relate more with Jacob or Esau?
Saturday, December 22, 2007
The Beauty of Your Peace
I was wrapping presents last night in my bedroom listening to worship. One song in particular stuck out to me. Part of the lyrics say..."Take from our hearts the strain and stress and let our whole lives confess the beauty of Your peace."
I was thinking about my life in particular...it used to be characterized by strain and stress. Now thru my relationship with God it is characterized by peace. Of course I have times of strain and stress but it no longer defines my life.
As I was listening to the lyrics of the songs I was reflecting on this past week...
We had several Christmas parties where there was fun and laughter and fellowship and community.
We had a Happy Birthday Jesus Party for our kids and 2 of the families we adopted for Christmas. My closest friends and I pooled our time and money to show the love of Christ to a few families that were in need. It was joyful chaos...it was beautiful.
I went to dinner with my girlfriends and we literally laughed and laughed and laughed for hours. It was a comic relief in the midst of the hectic week.
I went to see a movie with Jerome, Wendy and the boys. We were the only ones in the theater. Towards the end Jerome chased the boys around the theater for fun.
I am living a life of worship to Him. I have some of the best friends on the planet. I have a sweet, precious family. I have a heart that seeks Him. I have chased Him down and He has given me His peace. I am so thankful for all that I have found in Him. I love that thru Him I can trade my mourning for laughter and my stress for peace. There is no one like our God!
He wants to do nothing less for you than He has done for me. Do you know the beauty of His peace?
Coming soon...my thoughts and the highlights of my husband and I's conversations on the old testament scriptures I have been reading....
I was thinking about my life in particular...it used to be characterized by strain and stress. Now thru my relationship with God it is characterized by peace. Of course I have times of strain and stress but it no longer defines my life.
As I was listening to the lyrics of the songs I was reflecting on this past week...
We had several Christmas parties where there was fun and laughter and fellowship and community.
We had a Happy Birthday Jesus Party for our kids and 2 of the families we adopted for Christmas. My closest friends and I pooled our time and money to show the love of Christ to a few families that were in need. It was joyful chaos...it was beautiful.
I went to dinner with my girlfriends and we literally laughed and laughed and laughed for hours. It was a comic relief in the midst of the hectic week.
I went to see a movie with Jerome, Wendy and the boys. We were the only ones in the theater. Towards the end Jerome chased the boys around the theater for fun.
I am living a life of worship to Him. I have some of the best friends on the planet. I have a sweet, precious family. I have a heart that seeks Him. I have chased Him down and He has given me His peace. I am so thankful for all that I have found in Him. I love that thru Him I can trade my mourning for laughter and my stress for peace. There is no one like our God!
He wants to do nothing less for you than He has done for me. Do you know the beauty of His peace?
Coming soon...my thoughts and the highlights of my husband and I's conversations on the old testament scriptures I have been reading....
Who wants to be normal anyway?
OK...so Jerome, me, Wendy and the boys drove all the way to Crossroads Mall Dollar Movie today in the blizzard to see Ratatouille...it was the only place it was playing.
On the way there I jokingly said to Wendy and Jerome..."normal families stay warm and snug inside their houses when it is freezing cold and snowing outside..."
Jerome quickly responded with "Shanna, normal families are not run by a 3 fingered ex-drug dealer and an ex-stripper...."
That man always makes me laugh!
Who wants to be normal anyway?
I love this life I have in Him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On the way there I jokingly said to Wendy and Jerome..."normal families stay warm and snug inside their houses when it is freezing cold and snowing outside..."
Jerome quickly responded with "Shanna, normal families are not run by a 3 fingered ex-drug dealer and an ex-stripper...."
That man always makes me laugh!
Who wants to be normal anyway?
I love this life I have in Him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
White as Snow
Isaiah 1:18
18 "Come now, let us reason together," says the Lord. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.
A few days ago I was watching Jerome and the boys playing in the snow...
I began pondering all the Lord has done for me...all He has brought me thru...at the marvelous way He took my old life with sin and bondage and hopelessness and shame...and gave me this new one in its place. He has made ALL things new in my life. Nothing resembles the person I was 12 years ago. This life I have in Him is a life filled with love and honor...both of which I did nothing to deserve. I know that apart from Him I have nothing of value!
He has given me purpose. He has given me hope in my trials. He has given me people to love. He has given people to love me. He has given me a husband that serves me and lays down his life for me. He has given me precious boys to raise up in Him.
My most valued treasure is this real, living and active relationship I have with Him. My desire for more of Him increases with each year...it never fades. The more of Him I know...the more of Him I want to know.
I will never be able to understand how He has made me who I am today. Only a Miracle Worker could turn a promiscuous, drug addicted stripper into a faithful, godly woman. I still feel like I am dreaming sometimes. I just marvel and think...."How did you do this in me Lord, How?" Right now I only see in part...but one day I will know Him fully, even as I am fully known!
Saturday, December 15, 2007
A Tribute to Wendy
I lead a teenage girls' bible study in my home. Wendy is in my group...and now in my family. When I met her she was 15. She came a few times to group and we really had not even made a connection yet at that point. Then she hit a BIG bump in the road and her family asked if she could live with us for awhile. I agreed but had a fit with God about it. I was still healing emotionally from some issues God and I had recently walked thru and I was on a break...so I thought. God wanted my obedience and He wanted it with a happy heart! I chose to trust Him. I am so glad I did!
Her family was so humble and brave to trust God thru us. They had only heard of Jerome and I and had no personal experience with us. Their heart to see their daughter healed and made whole was so precious to me! In faith they handed her over to God and us.
The first few days she sort of tagged along with me while I did the things in my schedule. When we finally had our big talk where I asked all the tough questions...my heart broke at her answers. She had been thru so much (things that did not involve her family) and had bought into so many lies. She had no relationship with God and in fact it was almost a foreign concept to her...yet she was raised in church. She knew of God but did not KNOW Him!
She longed to be desired and to feel beautiful and turned to all the wrong places for acceptance and love. That second week I prayed and cried for her every morning and night...begging God for a miracle but honestly I was not getting my hopes up.
Our initial agreement was for her to stay from May thru the summer.
She helped me fold laundry...she swept the floor...played with the boys...and all the while we would talk and talk some more. The core of what I would tell her was that she was deeply loved and had great worth and value apart from what she did or didn't do. There was complete forgiveness for everything from her past. God wanted her to fall as madly in love with Him as He was with her...He wanted her whole heart. This was the common theme of what I shared with her over and over and over. She had such a moldable heart. She politely listened...and listened and LISTENED. I had no new information for her over those first few months...I repeated the same themes over and over. We would simply talk and pray and do life together.
As she allowed those first truths to become her truths...she invited me to give her counsel on the many relationships in her life...with her boyfriend...her parents...her friends...her siblings...she let me in....more importantly she let God in. Everything of value in this life is found in relationships...this is why our enemy works so hard to destroy them. She began to see who He created her to be. The blinders came off and then she committed to the hard part. She began allowing Him to walk her thru the process of learning a new way to live.
She tore down many alters in her heart. She walked away from unhealthy relationships and cultivated godly ones. She has had times of brokenness...times of great joy...and times of more brokenness...but she fully surrendered. Many things on the outside of Wendy's life look different. She makes different choices...is involved in different activities...but this is NOT the point...She is different on the inside...this IS the point. She is a a COMPLETELY different person today. She is a new creation in Christ. His beauty RADIATES thru her!
Wendy has been in our home for 6 months. She will always be in our family. She has been grafted into our hearts. He has surpassed my expectations and has honored the tiny mustard seed of faith I had when He brought her to us. He showed me my part was to love her and pray for her and He promised to do the work in her life. He has been faithful once again!
Wendy is a delight! She has compassion for others, a servant's heart, a unique beauty, a love for God and people. God is using her to change the world around her. I am humbled that He allowed me to witness His love for her in such an intimate way. I am honored He allowed me to help carry her burdens. My life is forever changed because she is in it.
Wendy is moving back to live with her family the first of January. Thankfully they live only a few miles up the street from me :) God has done wonderful things in her family and I am SUPER happy He is reuniting them. We are all rejoicing together at what He has done. He has healed her broken heart and her broken relationships. He has given her a new life...one filled with hope and love.
Wendy, you are a rare jewel. May you always know that the King in enthralled with your beauty!
Her family was so humble and brave to trust God thru us. They had only heard of Jerome and I and had no personal experience with us. Their heart to see their daughter healed and made whole was so precious to me! In faith they handed her over to God and us.
The first few days she sort of tagged along with me while I did the things in my schedule. When we finally had our big talk where I asked all the tough questions...my heart broke at her answers. She had been thru so much (things that did not involve her family) and had bought into so many lies. She had no relationship with God and in fact it was almost a foreign concept to her...yet she was raised in church. She knew of God but did not KNOW Him!
She longed to be desired and to feel beautiful and turned to all the wrong places for acceptance and love. That second week I prayed and cried for her every morning and night...begging God for a miracle but honestly I was not getting my hopes up.
Our initial agreement was for her to stay from May thru the summer.
She helped me fold laundry...she swept the floor...played with the boys...and all the while we would talk and talk some more. The core of what I would tell her was that she was deeply loved and had great worth and value apart from what she did or didn't do. There was complete forgiveness for everything from her past. God wanted her to fall as madly in love with Him as He was with her...He wanted her whole heart. This was the common theme of what I shared with her over and over and over. She had such a moldable heart. She politely listened...and listened and LISTENED. I had no new information for her over those first few months...I repeated the same themes over and over. We would simply talk and pray and do life together.
As she allowed those first truths to become her truths...she invited me to give her counsel on the many relationships in her life...with her boyfriend...her parents...her friends...her siblings...she let me in....more importantly she let God in. Everything of value in this life is found in relationships...this is why our enemy works so hard to destroy them. She began to see who He created her to be. The blinders came off and then she committed to the hard part. She began allowing Him to walk her thru the process of learning a new way to live.
She tore down many alters in her heart. She walked away from unhealthy relationships and cultivated godly ones. She has had times of brokenness...times of great joy...and times of more brokenness...but she fully surrendered. Many things on the outside of Wendy's life look different. She makes different choices...is involved in different activities...but this is NOT the point...She is different on the inside...this IS the point. She is a a COMPLETELY different person today. She is a new creation in Christ. His beauty RADIATES thru her!
Wendy has been in our home for 6 months. She will always be in our family. She has been grafted into our hearts. He has surpassed my expectations and has honored the tiny mustard seed of faith I had when He brought her to us. He showed me my part was to love her and pray for her and He promised to do the work in her life. He has been faithful once again!
Wendy is a delight! She has compassion for others, a servant's heart, a unique beauty, a love for God and people. God is using her to change the world around her. I am humbled that He allowed me to witness His love for her in such an intimate way. I am honored He allowed me to help carry her burdens. My life is forever changed because she is in it.
Wendy is moving back to live with her family the first of January. Thankfully they live only a few miles up the street from me :) God has done wonderful things in her family and I am SUPER happy He is reuniting them. We are all rejoicing together at what He has done. He has healed her broken heart and her broken relationships. He has given her a new life...one filled with hope and love.
Wendy, you are a rare jewel. May you always know that the King in enthralled with your beauty!
Friday, December 14, 2007
I love living in grace....
I just bought my first Christmas presents tonight.
Starting Sunday we have 4 Christmas parties at our house, 4 days in a row. I haven't bought any of the snacks or cleaned my house, why bother, it will be messy tomorrow. I love that I have boys to mess it up :)
God has brought me so far. I used to obsess and stress everybody out around me making lists and trying to get everything just perfect. Each year I see that He has brought more and more freedom in this area.
Lists and perfection just aren't made for my personality, but for years I thought they were. I thought that was where my security was. If I wrote it down, stressed over it for days and actually accomplished what I wrote then I felt successful...if not, I felt like a failure.
Now I wait until the last minute...stress a little, instead of a lot...do what I can and trust God with the rest.
I know those of you that are detailed and organized think I am crazy :)
I know the parties will be fun. We will laugh and have beautiful fellowship. Who cares if my base boards aren't scrubbed!
How is your holiday stress level?
Starting Sunday we have 4 Christmas parties at our house, 4 days in a row. I haven't bought any of the snacks or cleaned my house, why bother, it will be messy tomorrow. I love that I have boys to mess it up :)
God has brought me so far. I used to obsess and stress everybody out around me making lists and trying to get everything just perfect. Each year I see that He has brought more and more freedom in this area.
Lists and perfection just aren't made for my personality, but for years I thought they were. I thought that was where my security was. If I wrote it down, stressed over it for days and actually accomplished what I wrote then I felt successful...if not, I felt like a failure.
Now I wait until the last minute...stress a little, instead of a lot...do what I can and trust God with the rest.
I know those of you that are detailed and organized think I am crazy :)
I know the parties will be fun. We will laugh and have beautiful fellowship. Who cares if my base boards aren't scrubbed!
How is your holiday stress level?
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Expressions of His Love
I was cleaning out my computer desk tonight and ran across a copy of this poem I wrote a few years back. I thought I would share....
Expressions of His Love
Your affection O Lord, we cannot overcome...
so children must be the fragrance of Your love.
They come into our lives gently whispering your grace...
the impressions they leave cannot be replaced.
They learn and they grow with wonder and awe...
while we hope and we pray that they answer Your call.
Will you shield their hearts from evil that abounds?
Will they welcome your mercies that come raining down?
Let them hunger for you, that's what we desire...
may they carry out Your mission with passion and fire!
For the task of directing the valuable lives...
we depend on Your Word and brokenness at times.
These are the seasons that we fall to our knees...
Crying out for the answers that our eyes cannot see.
It is then that you call us out of our pain...
and into the Presence of Your love that sustains.
It is there that you meet us with tenderness and care...
may these frailties cause us to be keenly aware...
of the depth of our need to rely on Your Truth.
Let our children see that we are desperate for you!
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Adoption and Trust
For years I have had a desire to have several children...AT LEAST 5 or 6. I had two tubal pregnancies in a row that each ended in emergency surgeries to have a tube removed. If you don't have a tube, then you can't get pregnant apart from intervention. I do not have 5 or 6 children, I only have 3.
God has been changing my heart towards adoption over the last few years. A few months ago while on a mission trip with my husband in NYC God showed us clearly that he wanted us to actively pursue adoption thru DHS. He reminded me of His heart towards orphans. These children have been removed from their families so they are like orphans. After the mission trip I put this on the shelf intending to pick it up later.
I soon found out I was pregnant and then miscarried, losing my last tube. He showed me many things thru this experience...one of which was to pursue adoption. I have finally obeyed. We went to a DHS adoption orientation this Saturday.
Here is where I am at. I am scared...I am excited...I am anxious...I trust Him.... I know I seem bipolar and I feel this way sometimes. One minute I am at one end of the spectrum and the next at the other. One minute I just want to have a child from my own womb, the next I want God to pick the child that is to be in our home. One minute I want what is comfortable and familiar, the next I want the mystery of His will.
So while my emotions go up and down I simply choose to trust Him. I revisit all that He has shown me that has pointed me to this place. I choose to believe this is what He wants regardless of what I feel. My feelings are what they are. They have a part, but their part is not to ultimately lead me. Their part is not to dictate my actions. Their part is to draw me close to God as I let Him lead me. I will choose to follow Him when I don't understand or "feel" like it.
I know His plan for me is wonderful! We may come thru this with a child in our home or we may not. The outcome is not my part. My part is to trust and obey. My life is not my own, it was bought with a price. I will go where He leads.
With that said, I am excited and hopeful to be able to adopt a child into our family who we can share the love of Christ with. I am anticipating the joy and pain in the process. I know He will equip me and provide everything I need emotionally. I am eager to share His love and mercy with a child that otherwise might never know Him.
His ways are higher than mine. I can see how He has ordained this from the beginning of my life...just like He has ordained for me to be adopted into His family since the beginning of creation. I asked a dear friend to pray for me today...to pray I would keep my heart on the alter and keep my eyes focused on Him. Would you pray these things for me also?
Ephesians 1:4-5
For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will--
James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
God has been changing my heart towards adoption over the last few years. A few months ago while on a mission trip with my husband in NYC God showed us clearly that he wanted us to actively pursue adoption thru DHS. He reminded me of His heart towards orphans. These children have been removed from their families so they are like orphans. After the mission trip I put this on the shelf intending to pick it up later.
I soon found out I was pregnant and then miscarried, losing my last tube. He showed me many things thru this experience...one of which was to pursue adoption. I have finally obeyed. We went to a DHS adoption orientation this Saturday.
Here is where I am at. I am scared...I am excited...I am anxious...I trust Him.... I know I seem bipolar and I feel this way sometimes. One minute I am at one end of the spectrum and the next at the other. One minute I just want to have a child from my own womb, the next I want God to pick the child that is to be in our home. One minute I want what is comfortable and familiar, the next I want the mystery of His will.
So while my emotions go up and down I simply choose to trust Him. I revisit all that He has shown me that has pointed me to this place. I choose to believe this is what He wants regardless of what I feel. My feelings are what they are. They have a part, but their part is not to ultimately lead me. Their part is not to dictate my actions. Their part is to draw me close to God as I let Him lead me. I will choose to follow Him when I don't understand or "feel" like it.
I know His plan for me is wonderful! We may come thru this with a child in our home or we may not. The outcome is not my part. My part is to trust and obey. My life is not my own, it was bought with a price. I will go where He leads.
With that said, I am excited and hopeful to be able to adopt a child into our family who we can share the love of Christ with. I am anticipating the joy and pain in the process. I know He will equip me and provide everything I need emotionally. I am eager to share His love and mercy with a child that otherwise might never know Him.
His ways are higher than mine. I can see how He has ordained this from the beginning of my life...just like He has ordained for me to be adopted into His family since the beginning of creation. I asked a dear friend to pray for me today...to pray I would keep my heart on the alter and keep my eyes focused on Him. Would you pray these things for me also?
Ephesians 1:4-5
For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will--
James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Consistently Inconsistent
I was listening to one of my favorite bands, Starfield, tonight. These lyrics always stick out to me: "I'm so messy and distracted, undisciplined and tactless here on the inside." This describes me! I started thinking of all the things I am inconsistent at...(I am a free spirit)....and I felt as though the Lord whispered for me to focus on what I am consistent at. So I began pondering what things I consistently do on a daily or weekly basis and have kept the pattern for a year or more. I will write out my mental list for you:
Drink water, read to my kids, read my bible, attend a bible study, shepherd a small flock...right now it is Girls Gone Godly, go to OASIS now the FIXX, tell my husband and kids I love them, have someone who is not family live in our home...right now it is Wendy, hug my boys, kiss my husband, laugh, eat cereal, have date nights with my husband, send emails, pray, write in my journal, have worship playing (this happens every single day in our house...I can't function without it...my thoughts wander entirely too much, I need the lyrics to bring my thoughts back to God CONSTANTLY), tickle my youngest son, have morning snuggle bug parties in my bed with my older boys, Family Fun Sundays, pray with my husband and my boys, pray for someone who is hurting, make dinner, read and read some more, go to church, change diapers, get donut holes with my boys on Friday mornings, clean my house on Mondays (only because a group meets here on Monday nights), teach my kids, take pictures of my husband and boys, spend time with or talk to mine and my husband's family, take health supplements, sleep.
There is value in many of the things He gives me the grace to be consistent in. I am learning more and more to give the things I am inconsistent in over to Him and walk in His grace. May my life have value in Him apart from what I do or don't do. May my life have value because I was bought with the price of redemption. May I seek Him daily to see what things to put first. If I am loving my God, my husband, my boys, my friends, my enemies and all those that I come in contact with does it really matter that my dishes aren't done and my laundry is behind?
What things are you consistent in?
Drink water, read to my kids, read my bible, attend a bible study, shepherd a small flock...right now it is Girls Gone Godly, go to OASIS now the FIXX, tell my husband and kids I love them, have someone who is not family live in our home...right now it is Wendy, hug my boys, kiss my husband, laugh, eat cereal, have date nights with my husband, send emails, pray, write in my journal, have worship playing (this happens every single day in our house...I can't function without it...my thoughts wander entirely too much, I need the lyrics to bring my thoughts back to God CONSTANTLY), tickle my youngest son, have morning snuggle bug parties in my bed with my older boys, Family Fun Sundays, pray with my husband and my boys, pray for someone who is hurting, make dinner, read and read some more, go to church, change diapers, get donut holes with my boys on Friday mornings, clean my house on Mondays (only because a group meets here on Monday nights), teach my kids, take pictures of my husband and boys, spend time with or talk to mine and my husband's family, take health supplements, sleep.
There is value in many of the things He gives me the grace to be consistent in. I am learning more and more to give the things I am inconsistent in over to Him and walk in His grace. May my life have value in Him apart from what I do or don't do. May my life have value because I was bought with the price of redemption. May I seek Him daily to see what things to put first. If I am loving my God, my husband, my boys, my friends, my enemies and all those that I come in contact with does it really matter that my dishes aren't done and my laundry is behind?
What things are you consistent in?
To love Him is to trust Him...
I chose the title Deeper Still because I feel as though TRUSTING HIM is the theme of my life. The more I know Him...the more I love Him...the more I love Him...the more I trust Him...the more I trust Him...the deeper He takes me. My journey with Him has had many trials and joys...He has led me to the valleys and to the mountaintops. The issue between He and I is always..."Will you trust me?" Honestly, I have wounds and have chosen to turn them into idols and I have denied Him access to these places of my heart...but there are many, many things I have surrendered to Him fully. There are big and little things on a day to day basis that I hear Him asking me to trust Him with. He is so beautiful to me and so I want to continually decrease so that I can increasingly resemble more of Him. His beauty is pure, untainted by sin. So, as I long to become more like my Savior I delight in sharing my journey with you here the best I can in written form....
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